How am I going to help my mom as I am recovering?


i have several health issues. i may need more surgery for adhesions with hysterectomy. my mom wants to accompany me who is 84. my brother has a job and does help us with transportation. how am i going to help my mom as i am recovering. who will do all the chores or go to supermarket. we have no friends or other relatives. how long will i be laid up. my mother needs care what shall i do or how should i do this. i am so worried about her not me......... thank you everyone

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disabled1, you don't say what kind of impairments your mother has and how much help she needs. Call Social Services in your county, explain that you are taking care of your mother and that you will not be able to do so for several weeks while you are recovering from surgery. They will be able to tell you what they can provide and also refer you to other community resources.

Also your brother may have to take up the slack for a few weeks.

At least this is not an emergency and you have a bit of time to plan. I wound up in the hospital via ER a few months after my husband developed dementia and needed 24/7 care. Oh my! That was chaotic to say the least. I'm sure with a little planning your situation will go smoothly.

Do take the necessary time to heal.
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It is very frightening to be facing surgery when someone is dependent upon you, and I agree that you should have help. I do have a friend who did not care for herself properly after surgery because she was caring for her mother, and her health suffered as a result.
There are places and services that deliver meals for up to a week at a time. While I do have friends, after my surgery I was reluctant to depend on them, so I just stopped taking pain medication and started driving soon afterwards ( I didn't take my own advice). It was hard, and I was glad I had done a lot of advance preparation. I warned my mom that she would not get the level of care she was used to for a week or two, made sure she had books and DVDs, and I have to admit I fed her fast food and takeout for awhile. I had stockpiled homemade soup in the freezer, and we had a lot of soup meals. It worked out in the end. Good luck!
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When my father came to live with us, the social worker was adamant we have a plan in place in case of an emergency.Your brother is going to have to step up & make arrangements for the care of your mother while you recover. Have your mom live with him & arrange for home health care while he is at work. Or if she lives alone, he needs to do these things for her or hire help. You will not be able to care for your mom if you do not care for yourself. Good luck with your surgery & best wishes to you.
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