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My mother had a stroke. I believe alcohol related. She drinks 2 gal of whiskeyweek. She had to stop working. I have helped her get disability, and an apartment. She says I ruined her life by doing so. I carried her to the bathroom for a week after she came home from the hospital and I have a bad back. I walk her dog everyday. Take her anywhere she needs to go. Separate her medicine into doses. Clean and help any way I can. Before she had the stroke, she was drinking 2 half gallons of whiskey a week before the stroke, now she drinks 4 half gallons a week. She has been in the hospital 4 times this year. If she refuses to get help, how much should I help her? Where is the line between helping my elderly parent and enabling. I am exhausted. Also, she was abusive to me as a child. And she still criticizes everything that I do for her. Her favorite son does nothing to help.

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If you are not getting the alcohol who is? I would get APS involved.Someone drinking this much can't just quit cold turkey without some very serious life threatening consequenses.
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Get to some Al-Anon meetings - they're free and in virtually every town. They focus on helping the families of problem drinkers. Here's their website: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Good luck...you've got a very difficult situation. I admire your strength of character in wanting to help your mom at all, given her history.
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You can both "turn her over to the state" and continue to advocate for her and visit and make her life a little better. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging for advice. If you have some money - $250 to start - you can seek out a Geriatric Care Manager to evaluate the situation and locate appropriate resources.

Consider getting in touch with AA in your area. They might have useful experience. Not every AA member rides off into the sunset sober. Bless you.
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Thank you all for the advice. No, I don't get it for her. I don't want to walk away from her, because she doesn't have anyone else to do it, and she is my mother. At the same time I don't want to be her doormat.
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Distance yourself from this woman. Try to see that a social agency is aware of the situation (as PS says) but do not continue to provide hands-on care. You do not owe someone who has been abusive to you (and to herself) all your life the same kind of devotion you'd give to a nurturing, loving parent, step parent, or foster parent. The blood bond isn't what is critical here. It is the love bond that is missing.
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She's not helping herself, she is making herself sicker. She's on prescription medication? There's a huge problem right there. Not the mention the kind of wear and tear constant alcohol consumption does to the body and organs. AND not to mention the psychological and mental damage it does to someone. And believe me, I know. I'll be 17 years sober next week.

Since your mom has had a stroke and if she weren't drinking herself silly you'd help her I assume. It's time to distinguish some boundaries. I don't think you need to walk away and never look back but I think you should think about what your mom needs, what she can't do because of the stroke (regardless of whether the stroke was brought on by the drinking) and then decide exactly what you will assist her with. She's going to kick and scream, believe me. Cry, threaten, insult, you name it. But if you are uncomfortable just walking away and never looking back then you need to set the boundaries. And stick to them, by God. When an alcoholic is threatened with no more support from an enabler all hell can break loose. She'll make promises (that she won't keep). She's liable to go on the wagon to prove to you that she doesn't need the booze. Don't fall for this stuff. Oh, she may mean it but at her age, having had a drinking habit for a long time and to the extent that which she drinks, if she is to be helped it'll have to be in a hospital under the supervision of a Dr.

Are you buying her alcohol? This gets sticky because without it, if she's drinking as much as you say, she could have a very bad reaction to going without. It can be fatal. You can try to taper her drinks, buying less and less. But I wouldn't even do this without a Dr. overseeing things.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. And it's up to YOU to maintain them because your mom will do everything in her power to tear them down.
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youll save money on embalming later.
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Walk away. You have done your part and the patient refuses to take any responsibility for her own health. Report her condition to the county APS and let them deal with it. Cut her off before she drags you down too.
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