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I am exhausted and haven't had a day to myself for nearly four years. She says she wants to die and becomes abusive when not drinking and more abusive when drunk she is charm itself to her G.P. she is also on nine medications which she cannot sort herself and cannot switch on her TV her only amusement, and will not go out at all. I am exhausted and angry with her most of the time nobody helps me I can t
go away on holiday although she insists this is not true, she is not capable of being left alone and refuses to accept another person stopping in if I do go away

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The only thing that I can think of is that you need to get her doctor on your side, and perhaps have him send her to a psychiatrist so that the drinking can be dealt with. Also they may be able to give her something for depression that would help her behavior. Don't know if she has always been abusive or has dementia, but you need someone in the medical field to back you up and at least get her away from alcohol. Put her in a treatment facility for a while, or get her in a nursing home. You shouldn't have to deal with the abusive behavior.
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What do you think would happen if you went away for, say, a weekend? I mean, think about it in detail. What's the worst that could happen? And would it be worse than how things are now?

She refuses to have someone stopping by. Ok. So you leave her medications ready sorted - either in a pill box, or whatever system suits you - and you ask a friendly neighbour to knock on the door once or twice a day and make sure they're gone. You leave ready meals in the fridge. Make whatever preparations you think are a) essential and b) likely to be worth making - it isn't, for example, worth trying to make absolutely everything foolproof when the problem is not that the person is a fool but that she is either too sloshed to bother or too bolshie to comply. So just cover the main points.

Then assuming you've done that, what can still go wrong? Fire? Flood? Falls?

I'm going to leave it there because I don't know what your chief worries are. But the key thing is that there will be a way round this - a way to change it. Please post again.
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Sometimes we need to use tough love on our parents. Make out a list of all the things you do for your Mother on a daily basis.... now cross off half of them if not more... and when Mom asked you to do something you had crossed off that list just say "Sorry, I just can't do that". If Mom raises a fuss, just walk out of the room. I know it won't be easy, it might take awhile, but eventually you will find you will start to get control back.

Example, I had a therapist say to me that since my parents [mid-90's] choose to live in their single family home, then THEY have to take the responsibilities that come with that decision. I have my own age related decline, thus last year I stopped getting my parents 30 bags of mulch, I just couldn't do it any more, I had to say no.... Dad fussed and fussed, always bringing up that he needed mulch, threatening to drive to the store himself, yada, yada, yada. I held my ground. This year he bought bags of mulch from the Boy Scouts and with a certain donation the Scouts came and put down the mulch for Dad.
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You're mom does not deserve you. Don't wreck your life. Get mom some in home care and take a break. Or better yet get her in assited living. She'll yell and treat you like s...t but she does that anyway. She'll live ( probably better) and you'll get back your sanity.
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