How do I care for a parent that's not always been a good parent?

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My mother is allowing her granddaughter to sponge off of her, putting her in danger, abusing her home and using her home and the rental attached to the home as a dump and a flop house. Doesn't pay rent, she doesn't even come upstairs to visit or help my mom with anything. I am taking care of everything it seems and I'm treated like crap. I have lots to vent . Hoping to get good advice back or it's gonna be all bad. One of many problems I face.

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Call APS and report the situation.

Then step back, and let social services handle all this.
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Do you think that your mom is competent? If she's not able to protect her financial interest, then I might try to step up.

Are you the Durable Power of Attorney? If not, is she competent to appoint you? If not, I'd consult with an attorney about taking steps to be appointed by the court as her Guardian to protect her best interests. The attorney can explain the process, the evidence involved and what is required to be Guardian.

If your mom is being taken advantage of financially, you would be able to show that in court. If your mom is competent and just wants to allow herself to be taken advantage of, there may not be anything you can do about it. Some people report it to social services or the police. I'd talk to an attorney to get all my options.
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Dear Antipuzzle,

Sorry to hear what is happening. I know you are doing the best you can. Have you considered talking to a social worker, family therapist or counsellor? Or joining a caregiver support group?

Maybe your mom wants to spoil her granddaughter and is ok with the consequences. I know it hurts you and you don't think its right, but its better to step back. If you no longer want to care for your mom, it doesn't hurt to talk to a social worker to explore all your options. You have a right to your own life as well.
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