What can I do when a Long Term Care facility refuses to let me visit?

Follow
Share

I have been visiting a Colorado Springs LTC facility and have made friends with several residents.

The facility has told me that I may not visit, since I am not a family member. The residents love it when I visit, and welcome me warmly, and I have always been calm, polite, and respectful.

I have faced increasing opposition from the facility's administrators, even to the point where I have been threatened with arrest if I set foot on the premises.

I have had no help from Ombudsmen or State Surveyors. I even Filed a court action to enjoin them from harassing and threatening me. It was dismissed for "lack of subject matter jurisdiction."

There is a new Executive Director that doesn't seem to personally mind if I visit, as she has seen residents that I know welcome me, but Corporate is vigorously defending their "right" to isolate residents from visitors, even though they are in direct violation of Federal law.

My behavior has not been called into question, and I even had them run a background check on me which came back clean.

Can you think of anything that I can do to stop this abuse?

-Kris

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
16

Answers

Show:
Pam's right, Kris. If you have been escorted away by security, reported them to authorities for asking you to stop visiting, turned down their legitimate offer to volunteer, yet can't move on? You have an attachment problem of some kind. You're over the line.

You have no idea . . . you may be making any number of family members uncomfortable with your friendships. It may have been one person who mentioned your visits . . . it may be six. You don't know. But you DO know you've been asked to obey their rules and discontinue their visits. Your reaction to that is somewhat off-putting. The more you object? The more convinced THEY are that they made the right decision.

There is nothing more you can do. If you can't move on from this, you need counseling. I urge you to consider it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Pmastegman: "Sometimes when a loved one dies in a facility, there is a family member who finds a constant need to return there as a way to stay in touch with all the deceased represented to them. It can be a sign that they cannot accept the death, nor move on from it."

That is not the case with me. I was greatly relieved when my mother died, and move on very quickly. I just saw an opportunity to visit the sick, as I already had friends there.

I remembered that Jesus said "I was sick and you visited me." I thought it through carefully and then decided to make a commitment. I do not make or take commitments lightly.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

ba8alu: "Is the one family you mentioned possibly actually the source of administration's discomfort?"

That is my suspicion. She is quite bitter and nasty.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sometimes when a loved one dies in a facility, there is a family member who finds a constant need to return there as a way to stay in touch with all the deceased represented to them. It can be a sign that they cannot accept the death, nor move on from it. Griefwork is what some call it, but it can grow into an unhealthy obsession that requires professional counseling. Kris, let it go and get some help to accept that mom is gone. No one is trying to hurt you, they just want you to move forward.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Is the one family you mentioned possibly actually the source of administration's discomfort?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Huh?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Dear Ismiami, You wrote "In other words that rule may not apply."

The facility is a Medicare Facility, and have agreed to follow the Federal law, and the CMS guidelines as a condition of their certification.

Some have suggested that I visit other more welcoming facilities, but these are individuals that I know and love. They are not replaceable. Some have expressed dismay and confusion when they saw me escorted away by security.

The CMS guidelines do not mention insufficient prior relationship as a condition. They say that any individual must be given equal visitation privileges as long as the resident consents. The only condition is that they may deny someone if they are a security risk. Since I gave them all of my personal info, and they ran a background check on me, and I have NEVER met with anyone in private, I don't believe that I have given them any reason to consider me a risk. I also have met with the new Director, and she doesn't personally have any problem with me visiting, but the two previous administrators were real bastards about it. They even at one point said that I was stalking the head nurse, and that gave them legal grounds. They have since abandoned the stalking allegation, since I pointed out that I have never phoned, emailed, talked privately with, or even written a note to the head nurse.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Now I can better understand why you gave an emotional tie here. Do consider volunteering elsewhere.
Sounds like the one family that dies nit like you complained, and it only takes one.

Take Care
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

When mom was in the nursing home, everyone was required to sign in with the time they arrived, who they were visiting and their room number. I suspect the nursing home in question may have a similar policy.

I can't imagine why you are fighting this battle so intensely that you've even reported the nursing home to authorities. If you did something to injure a resident or interfered with staff to the detriment of a patient, there would be some liability on their part, in my opinion.

You say you turned down an offer to become a volunteer. They gave you a legitimate reason to be there that fit their rules, and you turned them down. That's telling.

Time for you to move on.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I have a friend at a Brookdale facility and I know that particular ALF private pay only, they accept insurance, not Medicare or Medicaid. The one you are visiting may be the same.
Your link applies to Medicare and Medicaid. My friend has Medicare, but her ALF is still private pay.
In other words that rule may not apply.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions