Back again about mom. She’s 85 and has been in AL for 6 years following quadruple bypass. She has CHF and end stage COPD. She is the worst case her pulmonologist has ever seen and he truly can’t understand how she is still alive - he’s been saying this for 3 years.
She has declined over the past year - to the point she was mobile in her apartment but limited and only with her roller and 3L O2. She stopped being able to shower herself And was releasing her bladder in bed and her depends because she didn’t want to get up.
She ended up in the hospital 4 weeks ago with pneumonia and was told she had a small heart attack the week prior. Pulmonologist said ‘this is it’ ... I prepare yet again for the end but I really should know better because after a week of heavy antibiotics she was discharged to rehab.
She's been in rehab about 3 weeks and while she’s made some progress she seems to be at a very new baseline. She can not get up herself or move around without 2 person support. She is totally incontinent and says she can’t urinate on a toilet anymore and doesn’t understand why that is not ok. She sleeps most of the day and has made some statements I know are untrue. She says she wants to get back to AL and is ‘working hard’ and that ‘she doesn’t know what is wrong with her body’ and thinks more rehab will ‘fix’ her. I truly don’t think she can acknowledge she has a severe, degenerative disease.
We had a care meeting the other day and I made a comment that she really seems to be struggling and needs so much assistance (which they are honestly having trouble providing) that perhaps palliative or hospice may be an option in the future. The nurse, rehab, pt and ot all said no way - she is making progress and is improving and made me feel like I want my mother to die! Ugh. I AM tired - I’ve been her sole support for the past 10 years but I just what the best care for her.
Has this happened to anyone else? My husband says they will try to keep her there as Medicare is paying and then she could do self pay if needed. But if she can’t go back to AL, I think I need to find another place as even as great as this one is it’s not something for ever.