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Mother eats all day while making things herself, but wont bathe or poop or pee in the bathroom but, or leave the house. She wont bathe herself in the bathtub or shower, she just washes her hair in the sink. She also wont use the bathroom, instead she uses pads and doesnt make it to the bathroom. She hides her pads and denies that she has made a mess and acts like everything is normal. She is constantly lying about her health to doctors and only listens when she is near death and must be taken to the hospital which has happened multiple times. She gave away all her possessions when her house was being foreclosed on. She hoards newspaper for some reason, and writes random words from what i can tell that she sees from the newspaper on mail. I cant tell if this is normal behavior to be expected from 70 year old who has for the most part been a little odd. All of this has been getting progressively worse over 2 years of her moving in after her house getting forclosed on.

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Agree with everything above. This maybe something you can't or do not want to deal with in the future dementia or not. So start thinking about your next step. She may be afraid to go out but there is just as much danger if she has to be left alone in the house. 70 is far from old these days so she could live another 10-20 years and definitely get much worse needing full time care. Are you up to that?
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So Jordan, Mom is living at you home? What is the plan now? As you can see from all of the above answers, this is not " normal " behavior. This is dementia, mental illness, or both. You need a psychiatrist to help sort this
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Even if your Mom was eccentric, what she is doing is not normal for someone 70 or even 80 years old when it comes to certain things.

Writing words from newspapers, my Dad had done that, even writing down telephone numbers from TV commercials, he was in the beginning stages of Dementia. This became more noticeable in late afternoon and in the evenings.

Hoarding knows no age limit, happens to people young and old.

Not bathing is a sign of some dementia, as there comes a fear of falling in the shower and not liking the water hitting one's skin. Could also be depression.

incontinence can happen to anyone as they mature. The hiding of the pads is unusual. Sounds more like a dementia issue.

Not wanting to leave the house sounds like maybe panic attacks if she is outside or is around a lot of people. Again, that knows no age limit. If it is dementia, the fear of getting lost and not finding her way home.

Those with dementia, at a doctor office, can act quite normal, it's called "showboating", it is amazing how they can do that. But as soon as they are home, the showboating stops.
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She need a Guardian. I hope you can see an attorney SOON.
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I just wanted to follow up with my last post. When I said lies, I meant the inaccurate information provided by the patient to the doctor. People who have dementia may relate inaccurate information due to their illness, but they are not lying on purpose. This is due to no fault of their own and I didn't want to imply they were telling untruths on purpose. I just wanted to make that clear.
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I wouldn't consider what you describe as normal behavior. Often doctors are able to see through lies from the patient when they are confronted with the facts. I'd try to ensure that the doctor has a written list of your observations so he can properly evaluate and treat her. I'd also check with neighbors and friends. Sometimes, they have information that may prove helpful.
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I agree with what was written by the other two. If it was simply incontinence, it would be one thing. Many people are embarrassed by incontinence. They usually dispose of evidence, though, instead of trying to hide it. Not wanting to bathe also is a red flag something is wrong. Most people find washing hair is easier in the shower than in the sink, so she is avoiding her bath for some reason. A complete evaluation seems like it would be in line. The trick will be how to get her to go to the doctor about her problems.
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I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this and that your mom is having such a tough time. She obviously needs to be seen by a different doctor. Has she seen a neurologist? Write down all the problems and get them to her doctor before her next visit. Do you have DPOA? You might want to consult an elder attorney to better understand your legal position in being able to care for your mother in your home. Is she now on Medicaid? Make sure you ask for a psych evaluation the next time she is taken to the hospital if that happens before you can get her into an appointment. What health issues does she have that cause her to be "near death" when she goes to the hospital? Is she on medication for health conditions? If so is she taking the meds properly? And no, this is not normal behavior. Please seek help soon. This will not resolve on it's own.
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This is not normal, or even just "a little odd". This is every red flag in the book that cognitive impairment is developing or even that dementia has begun to set in. How did she manage to lose her home? Failure to pay bills, money mismanagement?

Look, it is very likely it is time and past time for someone to recognize her inability to manage her own affairs independently. If you are like most of us when this first happened, you have a very steep learning curve ahead of you. One of your options is to find a comprehensive geriatric service at a medical center and accompany her to the visit. Tell them what you have told us. Bring pictures of the home situation. Have their social worker start giving you options for community resources to contact. Look through her bills and paperwork and start collecting account numbers and copies of essential documents you are going to need. You will need healthcare and financial POAs and an estate planner or eldercre law consult may be a move you need to make as well.

She may resist and deny, not perceiving that this is not OK and that things have changed. She may get mad at you and deeply fear losing her independence such as it is. But she needs help. Are there other family members involved, or is it all on you?
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