Can't medicare/medicaid help my friend's mom? What options or resources does her mom have?

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Disabled needing financial assistance, living in own home. Husband w/ALZ. in N.H. a must. This question for a friend of mine we live in the state of OKlahoma. I may not have enough info.. My friend told me that all benifits were taken away from her mother ,even her life alert sytem. Her Mother is wheelchair bound needs help with many physical activitys like bathing and has a Aide come in to help and she pays out of pocket. Her mother lives in her own home they -her and her husband have a reverse mortgage. My friend told me because of her Dad is in a N.H. her Mother no longer has any benefits even her life alert was discontinued. My friends mother is in her mid 70s. My friend nor I understand under how any of this works? Can't medicare/medicaid help her Mother what options resources does her Mother have?

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Assuming her dad is on Medicaid, his wife would still be able to keep certain spousal assets. It's not much, but they rarely take away basic needs. Each state is so different, that we can't generalize, but what's happening here sounds extreme and cruel.
If you type the words "Oklahoma" and "aging" in your browser, you should be able to find the link to the Oklahoma Alliance on Aging. I'd contact them with your questions. You'll see some other links that you may want to follow, as well.
Good luck to your friend,
Carol
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One thing your friend needs to do for her mom is to find and review very carefully the reverse mortgage documents. Many RM have it so that the couple must be living in the home in order to be in compliance for the RM agreement. That is that both of them must be living in the home. If one half of the couple dies or moves into AL or a NH, then in many RM contracts, they are out of compliance and the RM becomes due in full. This is very, very important to find out about.
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Dad is on Medicaid. Mother probably could be, too. That would cover things like the alert system, in-home help a certain number of hours a week, incontinence supplies if needed, and medical expenses beyond what Medicare covers. It sounds like Mother is not on Medicaid. That is something to find out and address. Another possibility is that she has been on Medicaid but did not fill in the renewal application (perhaps thinking it did not apply now that Dad is in NH) and so all benefits stopped. This can be remedied by filling out the paperwork again. Renewal applications are short and sweet. The initial application is a PIA and unfortunately that may be required now. Finding a copy of the original application will be very helpful.

Your friend has some research ahead of her. She may have to dig through years worth of unfiled paperwork and hope she can find everything. It also helps to contact people. For example, perhaps her Dad's Medicaid case worker can help her discover exactly what Mother's status is. (Let's hope she can find out who that case worker is.)

It is good of you to be helping your friend look into this sad situation.
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