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My mom and I have had a very dysfunctional relationship for years, I was raised in a latin american country and there by the age of 40 is very difficult to find work. My mom has not worked for the past 10 years (she is 65 now) I believe she didnt want to find something as I was financially supporting her 100%. When I came to the US and started working I kept supporting her, and finally brought her over ONLY because she promised she was going to work and be independent here( she blaimed all her not working years on our contries system). She came 3 months before I got married (I have been married for 2 years), long story short, she never got a job and is still living with me and my husband. He deals with her for the love he has for me (He doesn't really likes her). she has been rude and bossy at times (she thinks its her house and acts like WE live with her and not the other way around) , we have had mayor fights and now she behaves a little better becasue she fears to be kicked out. We just had a baby 2 months ago and now she takes care of him while we work, but she has started to feel like we need her because of the baby and has started with her attitude and bossyness all over again, and honestly at this point I dont want to deal with it, and I dont want my son to grow in that type of environment, because as I said before our relationship is weird. With all that said, I can't help but feel sorry for her and guilty for not wanting to live with her anymore.
HELP!!!

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Never put your parents before your own family. if this is causing problems then you already know what to do. If you are too afraid to confront her then ask your husband to step in and be the " bad guy". I'm sure he won't mind it at all.
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Your last sentence is "the tell". You are putting your marriage at risk for her. She is taking over for you when you should be developing mothering instincts and learning HOW to mother, including finding childcare. She is dictating how you should live your life and giving you a case of the guilts to boot.

It's time for you to become an wife and a mother first and a daughter second. Get Mom out from underfoot. With things the way they are today in this country, I hope she is here legally. If she is, you need to put your husband and baby first. Take Mom by the hand and explain that you and she are going to look for something for her to do that doesn't involve running your life for you. Get her a place to stay, and finance it for a month or two. If she doesn't make an effort this time, tell her she'll have to go back. Either that or, if she stays, she's on her own. Set her up with a social agency who will find her living arrangements and a job. If you don't, you will have gambled with your husband and child, and have lost.
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