I'm having to take over finances. She can't qualify for medicaid, but only has enough for about a year and a half in NH. I put my life on hold because she didn't want me to go back to work when she didn't live with me, now I'm trying to finish my education and I'm getting farther and farther behind. Hubby and I paid most of her mortgage for 8 years until her house sold so she could hold onto her life savings, and she's lived with us rent free for a year and a half. She doesn't want to contribute what I feel to be her share of the monthly expenses, and is afraid I'll take control of her money and not let her use it. I feel like I'm a victim of her paranoia and depression, and that helping her was a huge financial mistake. I love her, but every time I try to talk to her about her finances, she avoids it and starts feeling ill or changes the subject. Now her low oxygen and meds are starting to eat into her comprehension. I don't know how long this can go on…I feel like I'm stretched in a million directions. She's always saying she wants to do this or that (read, wants ME to make something happen for her) but never followed up her goals with any action during her life. Why does she keep expecting ME to wave a magic wand and rescue her? I sound hateful, but I can only be in one place at a time…I just wish she understood that she's draining us financially, and if she doesn't start paying us back, all her money will be gone and we'll have nothing to show for the help we gave her.