Follow
Share

I am having trouble with getting my husband to shower for a while i would get everything ready help him into shower and he would wash now but now he will only stay in for a min. I had home health aide come but he refused her help. at adult daycare they have tried to shower him but got hostile I do not know what else to do

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Bathing and showering can be very exhausting and does not need to be done every day - just wash the smelly bits. Take away smelly clothes at night. make sure the bathroom is warm and warm the towells and clean clothes in cold climates.
Clothes no longer need to be formal. Warm sweats and nightgowns with non slip washable slippers are adequate even to go to the Dr.
Allow an aging parent privacy. If they are not used to being naked do not force it.
Put a small toell round a female's shoulders and a washcloth over the genitals. if the patient can't wash their own genitals have them turn away from you and reach around or hold a towell up so they can wash behind it.
Talk about these problems with the patient's Dr and ask if there are medications that could be prescibed before a bath to keep them calm. If you have outside help try and get them to start small and work up to as full bath. maybe wash his feet the first time, help a male shave or give a female a back wash and massage. Above all keep the patient covered as much as possible, there is a reson it used to be called a "blanket bath"!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can only do your best but try and keep one step ahead.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Should you and your husband leave your home for a doctor's appointment, you could tell your husband that he has to shower before going to the doctor's appointment, since he will be going out in public. In addition, they sell plastic chairs that individuals can sit on while in the shower, as sitting; of course, makes a shower "easier" than standing.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I always used bribery with kids. It works with adults who are acting like children! Honesty cannot hurt. They smell, it is unpleasant and encourages bacteria.
I had a student I refused to let use my computer until he'd gotten himself clean. Grossly obese, it was awful.
I began saying it was my computer, if he was dirty he couldn't use it.
Then, he figured this out and he'd shower, but put on the same clothes. Sigh.
When Dad was in LTC, there was only one worker who could get him to shower.
It is difficult to figure out the barrier.
Although, we had one worker who stormed into his bedroom, before he went into LTC, and said, "OK. We're having a shower now!"
He said, "The hell we are!" He'd never met her. What bedside manner....
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My daughter takes care of her 90-year old grandfather and she amazes me how patient she is with him. And God knows how they can test your patience. She is very firm with him insisting that he take a bath. It is very similar to making a child listen. Firm but persistent she gets him washed. I wish all of you much luck and stamina.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

When my Dad was in assisted living he would refuse showers. The aides would call me at work and I would burst into tears. He wouldnt let me shower him. When I saw him after work he would tell me the aides manhandled him. I called the National Alzheimers Association and those were the tips they gave me. It didnt always work.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Wow, seriously? We have to treat them like children? I dont want to do that. I have my 75yr old mother living with me. She is a physically deteriorating. She sits and smokes all day. When she isnt doing that, she is laying in her bed with oxygen. She might shampoo her hair in between showers. But, I think on an average she might shower twice a month. Not sure if she brushes her teeth anymore. I know she doesnt do much to herself otherwise. Unless we go somewhere, which is maybe once a month. She will kinda put herself together. With her main concern being hair and lipstick. I'm a hairdresser and its unnerving to try to do something to her hair when she hasnt done a thing to it in days. After a while your hair takes on the pattern it is used to. So, when you just brush it off to the side to get it out of your face thats what its going to do even when I fix it. Yes, I would love to fix my mother's hair. However, I cant fix it if she cant sit to have it done. It would be easier for her to come to the shop. She would love to have her hair done at home. Who wouldnt? But, I feel like she needs to get out of the house. And it is so much easier to do it, if she came to the shop. I have given her plenty of opportunity to get it done. But, its never what she wants to do at that point. Then its my fault when it doesnt get done. Damned if I do, damned if I dont. But, the subject was showering. Sorry, I got side-tracked. I think the showering thing is a labor-intense thing for my mother. But, she stinks. How do you tell your mom, you cant stand to be around her cause she wreaks of smoke and old lady smell. I have often made comments about her showering and she told me not to worry about it. She also is very defensive about her smoking. I walk out into the garage, where she hangs, and she is sitting in a cloud of smoke. Then she walks into the house and the cloud follows her. YUK! If I say anything about it, she gets all huffy about it. So, short of acting like her parent, is there not an easier way to get the point across? I love my mother and I miss her. This woman living with me, is just a shell of the lady I once called "Mom".
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My husband hates to get into the shower. I think it's because he has trouble focusing. It takes me about 45 mins to an hour to talk him into the tub when we do the shower. So, I mainly do sponge bathes and I've bought no-rinse shampoo that I use too. He is in the medium to severe stage of dementia so rewards mean nothing to him, only what's happening right then and there. When I can get him in to shower I use no tear baby shampoo and a hand held shower nozzel. We also have tub bars for stability.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Give a reward for showering. With my dad I had to turn off the TV at shower time. Favorite treats or meals. Or give a choice - Do you want shower now or in 20 minutes. Set the timer.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.