Hello, my father has dementia. It has been a long and difficult road. He lives at home with my mom and is under hospice care with a caregiver that is there for him 6 hours per day. He is at the point where he is bedridden. He sleeps most of the day and whispers and whimpers. I confirm he feels no pain with hospice and he just seems dazed. I want him dazed and unaware so he does not realize he is dying. My dads wishes have always been to die at home and to be buried in a National Cemetery... I have made sure he will have both.... however I use to visit my parents every Sunday for the entire day. I did this since I married and left their house. I did it up until quarantine. I havent visited since Feb to be safe... but I am on top of his care daily. I have a young daughter and I’m trying to give her a lot of attention because in the past I was always so busy. I feel some guilt because I may be using quarantine as an excuse to not face my dad during this ending stage. I arrange everything for his care... I send them groceries weekly... I handle everything for them... hospice, bills, caregiver, medication, make sure they have food and water... treats... I have arranged where he will be buried... how it will be handled... but I can’t get myself to visit because I cry and get so depressed that I can’t function... I went through this for the last 10 years with my dad... does my inability to visit now mean I’m weak? Am I terrible? At the very last stage I will be there... but I can’t handle it right now and I've made sure he is taken care of. Am I horrible?
