I live in CA/San Fran Bay Area & after visiting/contacting 13 SNFs, none had open beds or even a waitlist. They just said to keep checking back. Not very encouraging. I’ve cared for frail 91 yo mom w/dementia & fall risk in my home over 20 yrs, w/last 2 yrs requiring 24/7 attention. I’ve had to hire help some nites just to get sleep. Also have husband & 14 yo daughter to care for. I’m nearing the end of my reserves of compassion & caregiving ability. I’ve spoken to various social workers, local area agency on aging, the CA waiver program and several geriatric care managers. The only “helpful” suggestions I rcvd was “pay $10k for 1st mo upfront” or “hope she goes to hospital & then refuse to take her home”. Apparently it’s all about profit & Medicaid simply doesn’t pay enough. Really?? Is this the best we can do for decent people at the end of their life and for their families who have cared for them as long as humanly possible? My parents never thought they’d live long enough to need care, so even though they worked hard & comfortably, they had no savings/investments for the future. Mom only receives monthly SS pymt. Husband & I have resources & have already paid to help w/mom’s care, but we can't deplete our resources to care for her & simply pass the same problem on to our kids to care for us if/when the time comes. So, does anyone have other suggestions ... or maybe even simple validation that I’ve done what I can & this sucks?? Have been reading other posts here for a year now. Info has been a lifesaver!! Thank you all!!
I’m not too far from the Bay Area and what are you experiencing is normal. Even if your mom is hospitalized, there will be a wait for a medi-cal bed. It took 3-4 weeks for the hospital to find my FIL a medi-cal bed when he went to rehab in a skilled nursing facility after a hospital stay. When he didn’t progress and we wouldn’t take him home, rehab got rid of him by sending him to the ER with “pneumonia”. He spent another month in the hospital while they tried to find a skilled nursing facility with an open medi-cal bed for long term care. A hospital stay is going to be the quickest way to get her placed, just don’t expect it to be overnight and they will also choose the facility, once they find her a bed, she’ll have to go. Even if you don’t like the facility. Just so you are aware. My BIL and SIL chose not to look for facilties and let the hospital deal with it, which isn’t wrong of them but when the hospital called and said they found him a bed, my SIL wanted to delay moving him until after we’d all looked at the facility and a few others to make sure it was the best one. The hospital said FIL had no choice but to be moved to the facility they found for him.
I smh everytime I read that story.