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I quit my job to care for her when dad died. She is 82 has partially amputated foot, full time oxygen(emphysema) neuropathy, MRSA, etc. I took her to the doc 57 times last yr and have spent thousands of dollars just to make my home safe and comfortable for her. She does nothing for herself. I do it all. My hubby and I have had many financial set backs since she has been here. Am I going to be put through the wringer if I claim all these expenses this year on my joint tax return? I know that she can't be an exemption, but what about all these extra expenses for her to live here? She now has a hefty appetite and has put on 35 lbs and now it's even harder to do her showers, changing clothes and you name it. I am 60 yrs old and would like to know if I have ruined my financial future

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If you are worried for your future you need to assess. Not sure what job or earning potential you left behind, it is irrelevant, what earning potential do you have and how does it compare to the financial contribution mom is making to your household, assuming her SS and or pension is helping the household.

3 years of not having contributed to your own SS is probably not going to make a huge difference, assuming you had already met the minimum.

Remember that you need to plan for when mom needs to go into NH as PS suggests. At that time her income will no longer be part of your household.
Sit down with try to calculate a long term budget, at least you will know where you stand.
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feelingweary, you cannot claim the thousands of dollars of capital improvements on your taxes, or on hers either. Your financial setbacks are unfortunate. Mom's care should be paid for by mom's pension and Medicare and her contribution to your household should be no more than one third if it is a three person family. If you and your husband cannot pay your two-thirds of the bills, this has nothing to do with your mother's finances. Your age does make things more difficult, and at some point you will not have the strength or stamina to care for her. Start looking at nursing home options for her soon, because we all get too old to keep up 24/7 care. It takes a team of nurses and aides to do that.
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