I can't afford to move out or I would, what shall I do?

Follow
Share

My 29 year old daughter has been a very selfish only Daughter since she was a small child I was a single mother that gave her everything she need it according to my means when I remarry I was able to paid for her college but she put me thru hell from 18 till 26 can't give details I am too ashamed to tell
Finally she graduated after 10 years instead of 4 I had to stop paying for all her expenses because I am a widow no money and 66 years old too depress too sad too hurt by her she still lives with me but gives me the minimum just for her food I am broke but she doesn't want to move out so I can sell or manipulates me by been nice (I clean the house and do the cooking all repairs etc also clean after her two dogs and walk them etc) I want to live a little by asking for a reverse mortgage at least I will not have to prey so much she makes excellent money but refuses to give me more for property taxes etc I know that means she will be out of inheriting the house free and clear
She can be very deceiving cutesy when she wants something from me but I am so disappointed I just don't care just want to have no more money problems anymore
I can't afford even to move out of my own home or I would what shall I do?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
8

Answers

Show:
Thank you for all the answers I do agree I must take charge of my life and enjoy these years in peace I don't see any solution than to dip into the equity of my hard earn home to be able to pay my bill taxes etc I will be very careful with all the pros and cons ;yesterday had a talk with my daughter and she will be moving out when she has enough save (I know in this are rent are in the mid 2k) I was feeling like a failure for not leaving her a lot more when I pass away but I have to think more of myself while I am alive or I am going to get seriously sick I have done all I can for her because I was then younger and was able to support us (I a normal way )never hand outs or welfare When I break from this pattern ( hope I will) I think she would realize how lucky she and how much I love her ,but sometimes the best love is the one that let you go to be on your two feet on her own place, I was at her age .... Thank you to all the answers because I felt so yesterday such a bad person.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am 62. I would move to ALF while I was still able to enjoy it. Cut yourself loose, Sadmother, while you still can. Cuteness be dammed.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

every morning when the grass is wet or theres snow on the ground i butter my boots for waterproofing -- or so one of em will slide right up my youngest sons a** with minimal effort . take your pick .
he aint speakin to me right now and the silence is rapturous . he he
phsyc asked me a week ago if the tension with my son was causing duress . na , we'll slam heads as long as i live -- ill see to it ..
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The thing i dont get here and even with my neice WHY WHY WHY? would a young person WANT to live with her mother at this age gosh i was off seeing the world at this age having a life with my mates? honestly this generation are weird my nieces dad is very well off and he even paid her rent on a apt what kind of kid turns that down to go back and live with mum? I am 48 and have never had my own place i just cant imagine what it would have been like to be handed an apt that daddy would pay for? I know why my sister wants her back because my sister would do anything for money but even if you were to get rent money from them its not healthy to have them live at home at this stage of their lives. I left home at 17yrs old,never in my life did i think id be back here again living with mum but very different circumstances.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Lots of good advice offered
. Time to treat the kiddo like an adult. It might also help you to talk to a therapist about enabling and how to get YOUR life back focused on you. Good luck! Tell daughter to hire a dog walker or charge her $15.00 a day for 2 walks. That is what we pay when away from home all day.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Do you own your home? If so, change your Will; leave whatever it is you own - leave it to the charity of your choice. Make sure you get some type of mental evaluation that you are of sound mind. Get a renter (hire someone to do all the background checks and give them some percentage of the 1st/Last, security and cleaning deposit), Have that daughter removed legally if need be. Have you ever presented her with a list of your costs and what you believe her share of these costs should be? Perhaps a little post-education bill for all the money you spent on her education and ask her if she intends to pay you back now that she's independent because of your help? She needs to know exactly what you've told all of us. Does she know in no uncertain terms or is it that you are holding a resentment inside thinking of what you think she SHOULD do but just letting the resentment fester while things go on and on? Write it out if you're serious and give it to her. Let her know what you intend to do if she doesn't start helping out more (ie, change your Will, have her evicted, get a restraining order, have your actions filed with an attorney). Believe me when I tell you that you CAN find an attorney - contact your local Dept. on Aging, your Health Dept., your Elder Abuse Dept Then do it!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Im glad youve admitted to spoiling her but now its time to a
ask her to leave for her own sake why cant parents realise that children like this will never learn to grow up and experience life and the reality of life how on earth do you expect her to be a responsible adult when youre still changing her diaper?
My sister has let her 27yr old daughter move home AGAIN after several times of her not paying a penny for food etc....... so i told my sister "reap what you sow".

You are not doing your daughter any favours and asking her for rent is not going to work out and you know it. She should be in her own apt making her own way and spoiling you for a change!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

You should start treating your college-educated employed 29 year-old daughter as an adult.

She needs to carry her own weight. She needs to either pay the going rate for rent and board or to move out.

You need to start making decisions in your own best interest. You've raised a child alone. You remarried. You are widowed. Clearly you can take care of yourself. Start doing it.

But I think you know all this. If it helps to have outsiders tell you what you already know, I'll say it. Take charge of your own life.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions