She is extremely stubborn and refuses in help. Cannot get in a car and refuses to go to the ER for an evaluation. What to do

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Nancy - when elders refuse to bathe my first question is - do they feel safe in the bathroom? Often they are afraid of falling next to the toilet, the toilet is too low or too high or they can't get in/out of a tub and a wet slick shower stall is enough to instill panic. Perhaps and evaluation of the bathroom will help her feel more secure.

Now - if you mean that she can't have a bowel movement, then that's another matter completely. If you are sure she needs an ER eval, leave her sitting in the chair and call 911. She can't tell those paramedics "no" very easily. If you make them understand that she's got "some kind of blockage and complains of pain", then they'll just take her in. Be sure to note the number of days since she's been to the toilet and tell the ER doctors. This is one way to get the ball rolling.

So - if you have more specific details and questions don't hesitate to post them here. There are many caregivers with a wide variety of experience.
Best of luck.
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