I cannot afford to quit my job to care for my MIL. What can I do?

Has there been a family discussion (you, husband, any other adult children of MIL's) about how to accomplish her current level of care and what the plan is going to be, going forward? Most of us start doing "little things" for an elder and suddenly, without much warning, the caregiving morphs into more than a full time job. At some point, the family, including your MIL if she's still compis mentis, needs to make a plan, taking into account MIL's resources and EVERYONE's needs. Quitting your job is hardly ever an option, unless you are independently wealthy, and even then, it doesn't feel like ANYONE should take on 24/7 caregiving. It's just not a feasible thing. So look at the resources and then contact local Council on Aging and find out what is around your area in terms of adult day care, senior centers and the like. Think about what her everyday needs are and what her "sometimes" needs are--like dr's appointments and the like. Talk to her doctor about an assessment of what her level of need is.

How old is she? And how much care does she need?

I would drive my MIL crazy. She would not allow me to clean her, feed her, etc. She has her wits about her. You have a wonderful relationship with your MIL to even consider doing this.

What is your husband's suggestions as to his mother's care? If anyone should quit their job, it should be him.

When someone expects me to do something life changing, I reply "I couldn't possibly do that! But, I do think that you could."

Read all of the posts here about quiting jobs, trying to find a government agency to pay them, and 24/7 care of a relative. The search function is in the right hand corner. Good luck. We have all been in your place, to a certain extent.

Jeannegibbs, good point about husband's job.

Last year my Dad said it is time for me to retire from my career so that I can help him and Mom out [they still live in their single family home, I live down the street in my own home]. I looked at him and said "Dad, did you quit your job to care for your parents"..... he said *no*.... end of discussion.

But there still is that generation/gender gap... my Mom thinks I should be a *housewife* even though I never had children. My Dad thinks I should have quit work at 65 like he did. I had to explain to Dad that because I am a woman I still need to keep working for many more years to catch up to *his* retirement fund. Back in my era, even with a business college degree I was given clerical and/or secretarial positions, not management because those were positions only given to males.... [sigh]

Is your husband, her son, considering quitting his job to take care of her? Would you advise him to?

Keep your job. Solutions include Adult Day Health Center, bringing in a caregiver, or considering placement of MIL.

I agree with freqflyer, do NOT quit your job!! It's not the same as taking care of a toddler for a few years.....and 83 y.o. could easily live for another 15 years! Ask yourself, where would your career be then, in 15 years, with FT caregiving as the only thing on your resume?

Here's a current discussion regarding your same case. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/quit-job-to-care-for-parents-150227.htm

In a nut shell, do NOT quit your job. Other arrangements need to be made.

There are probably hundreds of answers to this question on this forum. Read through a bunch of these questions because the answers get repeated often. If you provide more details you will receive more detailed answers.