Has anyone had a loved one with dementia get cancer that is not operable because of its location?

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The Squamous cell carcinoma is located on my 93 year old husband's rectum. The radiation oncologist, Dr Amin, felt a larger than normal lymph node on his right side and suspects that the cancer has traveled. All of our doctors do not recommend chemo. At age 93 my husband is getting weaker by the week. Dr Amin thinks that a short treatment would help him. He also stated that the rectum area would be very tender for at least two week after the treatments. After reading the side effects of diarrhea, bleeding, fatigue, etc. I really am not sure. Several doctors have mention Hospice. I do know if I elect to do this procedure Hospice will not be available to us, while he is in treatment. Any advise is welcomed.

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A family friend had rectal cancer and was treated with radiation. She later confided that she wished she had not gone ahead with it. The after effects, the trauma of the treatment and travel back and forth to the cancer centre didn't seem worth it. She was already in the nursing home at the time but still mentally sharp, probably in her early 90's. It's so hard to give up before you even try, but you have to evaluate whether the time bought and quality of life balance each other or if it would be best to let go.
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Thanks for you support. The doctor is saying that he does not know how long he has or how much more time this might give him. My first thought was to do nothing as far as chemo and radiation so I will will probably research this a little further and take no action.
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My father was diagnosed with bladder cancer last year that had spread to his lungs last year right about this time. We took him to the oncologist who spread his hands out and said "I can get you from here - and then spread his hands out a little further - to here but you will die from this". Daddy had decided to do the chemo and then his bladder completely blocked and had to have external kidneys put in and hospitalist had a long talk with him and Daddy decided to do nothing. He died in August, 4 months after his lung biopsy. He decided that quality of life was better than quantity of life.

Why would hospice be unavailable to ya'll while he is undergoing treatment?

I pray that you and your husband have some peace. Take care.
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HersheyKisses, so sorry to read about your husband having cancer along with his dementia.

You will need to ask the doctors that if a short treatment is done how many more months will your husband gain? If it is only a few months, would you really want to put your husband through the side effects of radiation since it is in such a tender area? As we age, it takes us much longer to recover from such serious illnesses and procedures.
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