Cancer has come around again, what decision to make?

Yes, he is 61 and I am 37. He is not diabetic, but has had a wound on his leg for over a year which was a venenous ulcer. He was being treated by a wound doctor. Well, this wound got infected and is now infected to the bone, hence the need for the amputation. The 5K was paid by me taking out a loan and getting most of the loan paid down. He has Medicare which covered the proton therapy after the deductible and same for immunotherapy.

I think a lot of what is going on is related to his PKD, they think most of the fluid in his lungs is unless the cancer has made its return. Stage IIIB is right before the worst stage. It was only one lung and had not spread. He made some rather bad lifestyle choices in life including smoking heavily for 40+ years and being overweight. His whole family is kind of a list of tragedy: One sister had a brain tumor at age 8. It was removed, but for years she had a shunt. When she was 65 they removed the shunt, said she didn't need it and she died. Linda, second oldest sister died of cancer after ten years. Pat, his nephew, 45 died of liver cirrosis. His sister Delores recently battled ovarian cancer. His daughter, Ashlann, 31, died of an OD of rubbing alchol. His mother died of a heart attack in her 60s and his father lung cancer in his late 70s. So yeah, his family has a hard luck streak on the health side.

I think if he hadn't smoked then a lot of the health problems such as the COPD would not be around and most likely not, the lung cancer. The kidney disease was genetic, so we would be dealing with that one way or the other.

I appreciate your honesty. I will support him whatever decision he makes, but like you said I want to be sure he has all info before it comes to that. I am only speaking on my side knowing how hard the first go around was for him. I believe he dropped about one hundred pounds. He lost more weight because the hip replacement came after and turned a lot of muscles to mush. I am not rushing into any decision, but more or less just venting about how crummy it all is. I thank you for you candor.

You have me begged to a T on worry. I have anxiety disorder and a bunch of others and have always been a worrier. I kind of come from a family of worriers. My autism likes me to "plan ahead" and this sort of thing is a day-by-day thing which tends to make my anxiety go up. I am not saying it's anyone's fault, it's the way it is with healthcare. I hope my husband just overreacted. I knew the possibility was there as the lung doctor said there was a spot in his lung they had to test. I think the doctor laid out all the options and the worst possible one is of course cancer. I hope it's not. I understand this is all out of my hands and I am praying. I am not angry at anyone. The diseases yes, people, no. I do not blame God either for any of this but rather our bodies breaking down. My husband did make choices which we know lead to the cancer, smoking for 40+ years.

Have you thought about a GoFundMe campaign? My son's 8th grade acquaintance has a rare disease and he started a campaign and was able to mostly (or fully?) fund his treatment. I got the donation request through my son and I was happy to contribute, even though I didn't know this guy well and my son wasn't *that* close to him. It couldn't hurt? I don't know the income/tax exposure part of this, if there is one.