My mom has not passed urine or had a bowel movement in 4/5 days but today her pamper was wet. Do people come out of end of life diagnosis. She ate 3/4 tsps of ice cream tonight but seemed to have stomach pains after. Could have been gas. She seems better than Sunday, Monday when the docs said she is on end of life and we will do everything to keep her comfortable. When I was leaving her tonight, after telling her we all loved her and she has done a good job with us and it was ok for her to go to sleep, she said yes I am ready to take a snooze now. She hasn't said that before.

Other than not passing urine or stool and not eating there are other signs of EOL (end of life) and you will notice the color of the skin changing is the feet, legs and arms then the torso, called Mottling also a common change is called a Kennedy Ulcer) you will notice breathing changes, (Cheynes Stokes).
Is mom on Hospice? If so they can give you more information about these stages. If mom is not on Hospice you might want to give them a call trust me when I tell you that they will be of great help to you and to your mom.
There is a great pamphlet you can read on line called Crossing the Creek it explains a lot in a very clear insightful way .
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Reply to Grandma1954
Scaredinbda Mar 2, 2020
Yes the pamphlet helped me a lot. I do feel better after reading it, and also from reading the reply from Countrymouse. i need to stop focusing on how and what the death signs are, its like they have consumed me. But give thanks, i think i can now focus on my mom herself and not what may or may not happen soon.
There is no certainty when it comes to predicting a person's death, and after all you have no choice but to accept what happens when it happens.

Your mother may rally. Or it may be that her being more alert and enjoying her ice cream today was a sign that she is relaxing into the last stages of life. I should try to focus as tightly as you can on her comfort and wellbeing (which is exactly what you did!) and let the questions go.
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Reply to Countrymouse
Scaredinbda Mar 2, 2020
Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes i need to stay focused on her and not worrying about all the signs of death. It seems i cant stop thinking about it. but yes, i am praying that i stay thinking of her and her well being.
It’s hard seeing our parents come to the end of their lives. It just is. Even if we know it will happen.

I think nurses and doctors see when the end is very near. Do some people surprise us and last awhile longer? Sure, some do. It’s tough knowing exactly when.

I personally feel that the dying person knows when their time of death is approaching. I am not sure how or why though.

I just know shortly before my daddy died he started apologizing for any mistakes he had made and asked for forgiveness. He also told me that he was very proud of me.

I was sad. I told him that all parents and children make mistakes and there was nothing to forgive because he was a wonderful father to me. I was not present at the moment of his death.

Many times we hear of people dying shortly after relatives leave the room which is exactly what happened when my brother died.

I told my brother that I knew he was ready and to give daddy a hug and kiss from me when he saw him. I walked out and went to my car.

I had just started the engine when the hospice nurse called to say he was gone. It happens so often that I don’t think it is a coincidence.

Is your mom waiting to see someone? My brother hung on until his children arrived from several states away. He perked up when he saw them and I swear to you the day before he was at death’s door.

It’s amazing how strong the will to live can be. Then, he went into a coma. I asked the nurse if he could hear me. She said yes, so I was speaking to him just before he died.

I have not been with anyone at the precise time of death and I don’t know if I would handle it well.

My brother’s social worker said that he wasn’t afraid to die and knew that he was fiercely independent and may rather die alone and not want to hurt anyone if we had been present at the exact moment he died.

I found the hospice nurses, social worker and clergy to be very compassionate and comforting to my brother and my entire family.
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