She has lived with us for 15 years. She is very hard of hearing and can hardly walk. We installed a chair lift so she could get upstairs to her living room, bath and bedroom. My biggest problem is that I'm afraid to leave her alone. She can't hear the smoke alarms or the security alarms. Anyone could break in and she would never know it, because I've gone upstairs to put towels in her bath and she's never known I was there.

At this point in time she can still bathe herself and she does her laundry occassionally, but she is quickly getting more frail. I or my husband cannot care for her physically because we are both 100% disabled ourselves. Our daughter tries to help, but she has her own family and a job besides. I have two brothers, but they have both refused to care for her. We are in our sixties and we need some help. How do people qualify for nursing or assisted living if they are not ill, just frail?

Thanks for any and all information.

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It sounds like it is time for her to be in a nursing home if she has assets she may have to pay in the beginning I would get in touch with an elder lawyer for advice and start looking at nursing homes in your area the social workers would be able to help with the paperwork which would be medicaide application-it sounds like you have your hands full with taking care of each other and should not be expected to take care of her as she can not be left alone she may not like the idea but as she can do somethings for herself she probably would enjoy being with others in a nursing home where they would have activities and compainship and your life would be more manageable.
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