Can you help prepare for the first care plan meeting (sans resident handbook) in assisted living/memory care unit?

I am a bit perplexed that your Mom entered care without a handbook or clearly deliniated meeting with her and with family and discussion of everything.
First of all I need to get clear if Mom is in AL or in MC. HUGE difference here. Huge. Everything depend upon the answer to that question. There is no comparison in level of care one to the other.
Secondly, I am concerned there is no handbook, whether old one or new one, and she entered without this. When my brother went into assisted living we were met with two times before decision. On the first meeting we had many questions written out. All were answered. And at that time we were given a complete list of everything we could every have wanted to know about every aspect and cost thereof. We were told the cost, how often there cold be a raise, what the yearly raise could be (3% to 5%), EXACTLY what the levels of care were and what they consisted of. How to help create the care plan, and etc. Did you have any of this?
States vary, but again, there is less regulation on a business that is AL/MC than there is on a nursing home.
Your first care plan meeting should happen as soon as possible because your notes here on Forum have indicated you have a lot of problems and concerns. They should be answered and addressed. You should be able to get answers to all the above I told you for this facility.You should write out all your questions.
We discussed already the timing of medications and how one an MD says early a.m. on empty stomach may have to be delivered by night shift, meaning, yes, a wake up call at 5 to 6 a.m. given that the med nurse has many patients in need of this same service and there is likely one med nurse for many patients.
I don't think I can add to the many questions you have already expressed, and being a very concerned and involved family member as well as a nurse I can leave it in your good hands to make a complete list of your questions regarding staff, regarding vetting of staff, regarding how much staff on each shift, regarding locks on rooms or entry through locks, regarding safekeeping of resident's cash, and etc.
I sure wish you the best of luck in this your first meeting for a care plan.

Of course expecting a resident's handbook is perfectly reasonable. You should have been provided one when your LO first moved in.

If your thinking that the meeting actually wants your input, well IMO, for that to happen you have to go in prepared. They are in my experience a totally proforma type of meeting of 15/20 minutes unless you make it different.

My first CPM was all about my mom having to do an appeal for being “at need” medically for LTC Medicaid. She moved into NH from IL so did not have fat hospitalization and rehab chart that most do. When State assessment duo (RN & SW) went by to evaluate her, there were items (mainly RX but couple of labs too) left out of her chart. So between these and moms perkiness, it was not medically at need. CPM was a circular firing squad to place blame on this snafu; dietary stood up, spoke to me over the heated cross talk & said, she’s enjoying her meals and left. LSS I had to file the appeal but NH had to get together the info needed for appeal & submit. All was sent in way ahead of the hearing date. Mom was medically eligible.

But at the end of this first CPM, I was presented with a form (it was in moms binder that was held at the nurses station) and asked to sign. It’s basically a page that CPM was held & all going accordingly, yada yada. There was an blank 2 line area above the signature in which you could write in your specific concerns. I wrote in by name that DON and floor charge RN were to do all follow up needed for the Medicaid medical appeal and comply in a timely manner with State required documentation needed AND that SW was to contact me via email as to filings. Then I signed.

It was pretty obvious that this didn’t often happen as couple of staffers both said “all you need to do is sign”. Yeah sure & I’m wearing my size 6 slacks again. Not happening.

For the next CPM, about 90 days later, I went in prepared with 2 things: a sm box of mini muffins and a short typed page of concerns both medical (weight loss at > 10%, continuity of care from her old ophthalmologist involving RX for daily eye drop, etc.) and administrative (billing & back office incompetency). Carrot & Stick. I brought a mini stapler too and stapled the page to the backside of the statement signature page and wrote on the front, “As per attached 1 page listing” then I signed. The expressions on staff faces was priceless. Didn’t stop the DON from reaching for another muffin tho. And the follow up medically was done & I got regular emails from Nursing & SW. Administration stayed a clusterF & I did move mom to another and eons better NH within the year.

imo you have to go in prepared with deliberate concerns and specific questions. It is very much as MJ wrote, if you come in prepared they will know you are engaged in your elders care…. this is important and makes a difference. If you get flummoxed easily, I’d suggest you take another family member to do the note taking so you can concentrate on getting your concerns heard. The DPOA or MPOA are the only ones who can ask questions is the vibe I got. Good luck.

Based on such meetings with my mom's nursing home, I believe you're overthinking this meeting.

Have some questions ready, bring something to write on, and see how they conduct the meeting. It'll likely be pretty informal and fairly short. However, if you arrive with questions in hand and take notes, they'll at least know you are engaged with the care for your LO.

Both times I moved my mom to facilities there was some sort of handbook, not called that, but they had all information on what would be provided and what I had to provide, meal times, who her doctors would be, list of medications and what pharmacy to order from, how the facilities would be paid, etc. Both times I filled out forms and wrote 3 entire pages about her needs and personality. Both times they signed and promised to take care of all those needs. I also talked to the house manager at assisted living and now talk to the house manager at memory care once a week about Mom's care and changes in her abilities, diet, medications, moods, and any further needs. In assisted living I visited her almost every day, so could see exactly how she was doing. Now in memory care I visit at least once a week and talk to her on the phone every day I don't visit. I think my constant presence helps to establish that I will always be her advocate and make sure she is taken care of. I'm very nice to them and thank them constantly for the angels they are to do this work. Finally, covid restrictions have lifted and I can go inside and take her out for rides or walks. If you can't visit often, at least talk on the phone to the people in charge and even the caregivers to know how things are going.

In the absence of the handbook or admitting care plan, I'd write down the information I want to know about what is going on. I did get a copy of the handbook when my parents went into AL. I had copies of all paperwork I signed (I had my parents DPOA). While my father has since died, mom is still there. You do need to keep them on their toes because as someone previously posted they sometimes just go thru the motions.

I try and get to know each of the directors of the AL living facility. Depending on how they respond is also dependent how I respond to them - I always try and keep it professional.

Good Luck.

I must stress that I do not consider myself to be a cynical person.

Updated my foot. That's the sort of response that would make me want to stand in the atrium with a sign saying "HAS ANY RESIDENT OR ANY FRIEND OR RELATIVE OF ANY RESIDENT EVER SEEN HIDE OR HAIR OF ANY SUCH THING AS A RESIDENTS' HANDBOOK IN THIS HERE ESTABLISHMENT? EVER?"

And on the reverse: "HANDS UP EVERYONE WHO'S BEEN TOLD THE NEW VERSION IS PRACTICALLY ON ITS WAY HERE FROM THE PRINT SHOP"

Yes. Ask for the last one. (They won't have one).

I really wouldn't wait for the handbook, new or old, to hold your meeting. Your grandchildren will be pushing up the daisies long before it sees the light of day. You're doing well to have a support plan worthy of the name, I should stick to that.

My mother's care plan meetings were a joke. The DofNursing, a PT, an OT, a Speech Therapist, and the Staff Dr all sat around a table with a checklist. Each one gave some generic statement about her progress that month. The dietician told me her weight was holding. I asked what her current weight was and they told me. I told them that she had lost 20 lbs since she had been admitted. Embarrassed fumbling thru her chart proved me right. I had to constant remind them to keep her table and call bell on the left side of her bed as her right side was paralyzed. Total waste of time, as they were just going thru the motions to comply with the law. So be prepared.