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My mom is on hospice care at home she lives alone currently she is on the max care hospice can give and if i want more care they told me to hire outside help and gave me a list of people that do it.


After calling them i found out how costly it would be when compared to a nursing home. She wants to stay at home no matter what plus she has pets that are a comfort to her.


Can you force them into a nursing home if you have POA? The POA she had made states I can make life decisions, open accounts etc for her.


She has money to pay for it in a 5 year CD that still has 3 years left that has a pay on death beneficiary that is not me. It's a charity, If I cash it out and put it into a checking account what happens to the beneficiary?


I don't think I will need all the money in the account unless she lives for a year.


What I really don't understand is how hospice can let her stay at home alone, I guess they can only do as the patient wants. They know she is suicidal and they want me to limit some of her stronger meds so she can't take the whole thing she tells me that she is in so much pain and she does not want to live this way.....ie doing nothing but sleeping and watching TV.


I don't know what to do.

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She has multiple cancers and she suffers from dementia late in the day but is better now with a new med so far...

I only think she should be in a home because she falls constantly, refuses to use her walker, talks non-sense, threatens suicide, does not know what day it is even am/pm, refuses to stop driving, hides her car keys just to name a few.

Hospice and her nurse know all of this i keep her oxycodone and oxycontin pills only leaving 2 a day because she says she will take them all.

It's tough to watch them speak riddles.

I am not able to watch her very much so she is alone most of the time is why i want to cash her CD in and pay someone to watch her. I don't know how long she has left but when i lost my dad he was on morphine in hospice care at home (mom was able to take care of him back then)
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Reply to Grumpy22
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Grumpy22, although your mom has given you POA, given that's she's living alone it appears that she is sufficiently competent to live where she wants. So, no, your POA doesn't authorize you to force her live anywhere she doesn't want to live and if you try to move her, she may revoke your POA.

If you need to cash out the CD, there will probably be a small penalty (but banks will often waive penalties for good cause). Anyway, if you do that, you can make the beneficiary of the CD as the beneficiary (or POD or TOD) of the new checking account, which will honor your mom's wishes, while also making the funds more easily available to her (and to you for her) if she needs them. All of my dad's banks honored my POA, but I know some don't do that and if your mom's doesn't, then it will probably let you take its own forms home for your mom to sign.

These are hard decisions for you to make and I highly recommend reading the book "Being Mortal" by Atul Gawande to help you understand your mom's perspective. Best wishes for you and your mom.
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Reply to bicycler
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I'm pretty sure you can put her into a home with the POA, assuming that she has been declared "unable to make decisions". My POA required 2 doctors to evaluate dad and write a letter etc. I THINK that you can cash out the CD however I have found that many banks and brokerages want the POA on their form so sometimes I had to get an attorney involved to push them to let me take care of finances and get me on the account etc. SOME assisted living and memory care places allow ONE pet (you pay extra for the care of that pet though because they have to take the dog for a walk or whatever your mom can't do). I don' t think she should be home alone. Hospice should be able to help you figure all this out but, again, you might need an attorney to work with the bank on your behalf.
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Reply to marydys
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I could be wrong but if your Mom is in her "right" state of mind (meaning she doesn't have Alzheimer's / dementia) then you can't do anything. I have POA of my Mom but my Mom has vascular dementia so I can make medical and financial decisions for her.

Yes, I believe hospice can only do what your Mom wants (which is not to go into a nursing home).

As far as her leaving her CD to a charity that's her wish and should be respected. I don't know if you are allowed to cash it out.

What is your Mom diagnosed with?

Jenna
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Reply to JennaRose
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