You know who you are. You provide the 24/7 if the parent lives with you!
Sibling mails out of state lottery tickets for Mom to scratch off,
this has been going on for 2 years.
The big pay off????
About $6 bucks every time....:)
Lets Mail those $2 dollar winners back and keep this bullsh*t going......:)
Meanwhile, you wrote to the sibling THREE TIMES IN MAY.
"CAN YOU TAKE MOM FOR ONE WEEK THIS SUMMER"?????
NO RESPONSE.....
But hey......keep sending those winning scratch offs!!!!!!!
:)
Oh the book I will write one day lol
Gad, some families are just... oh, wait, as far as I can tell, my brothers don't do anything! I think OB (not local) still sends cards (big whoop) and going through papers she has in her room, I think he sent some pictures printed on paper of something he's building... Like that will make ANY sense to her? I'm not even sure she remembers my brothers now. Before lock down, she hadn't asked about them in a LONG time! I had to have YB take over one med appt which is 4x/year and he's always complaining about it, trying to get out of it, etc. FOUR times a year!!! She will likely be gone before he retires, so he'll have a nice retirement... half of mine is spent dealing with mom stuff (managing finances, paying her bills, managing medication, ordering and delivering supplies, taxes, etc.)
Families, yuck. When mom passes, I intend to become an only child. OB is already out of my picture (I have valid reasons!), YB is only there still because of that med appt. Handle her burial with dad, close out her finances and taxes, have any remaining trust funds split/sent to each of us and DONE! I'll be FREEEEEEEE!
We do everything that we can, but I often feel like my SIL is frustrated because we don't do more. Honestly, we can't do more unless we live there too and that is out of the question. We still have our own family at home and, while my mother is very active and healthy, she is also an only child and has her own mother to care for and we help where we can there too.
Full time care fell to my SIL for a number of reasons. They moved in several years ago because they needed to. Stayed because he needed them. And she doesn't work outside of the home. The rest of us have full time jobs.
But I often think she feels we should be more involved, while we are as involved as we can be and not live there. Even if we lived there we wouldn't be 100% because we have other priorities.
I say all of that to say this.
I know it doesn't seem fair. I spend half of my day fielding calls and texts from SIL/BIL actively dealing with him, because my husband can't due to the nature of his job. We do everything we can to stay involved. But I know from her perspective she's feeling like she's out there all alone and fighting all alone. She's not, but I know she feels that way.
Sometimes siblings can't be involved. If yours are making it clear that they aren't going to do more, I would suggest looking elsewhere. The cold hard truth is they don't have to help. They are allowed to set their boundaries and stick by them.
There are other options. Respite care for times when you need to leave them. Outside help. We are actively looking at a week of respite care next year as we will all be out of town at the same time and he cannot go. So we are trying to make sure it is covered. But sometimes it is more than you can handle. Your siblings have drawn their line. At what point do you get that chance yourself and consider other options?
I really needed a break when a struggling first-time Mum. My folks made it clear they would be odd occasion sitters not a regular service. I needed more than that so had to cast the net wider. Booked the baby into daycare. Expensive - yes but kept everyone resentment free - that was priceless.
Similar happening now as parent needs a break from other parent's care but I cannot leave my work & family to provide. So residential respite care arranged.
Cast your net wider than your sibling/s for help.