Can we talk about the “BIG HELP" from siblings???

I have three brothers and a sister and none of them help. My sister gets my Mom for a day or two about every three months and none of my brothers do anything. Well my oldest brother pops in every two months or so. He stays for about 30 minutes or less. So everything is on me when it comes to taking care of OUR mother. Not to mention I am the youngest! Two of my brothers don't even visit and barely call.

If you are the child who has the health problems, then you will be the one to be saddled with the care of the parent. So beware. Now that I'm looking after my dad, my brother is going to have to help or it's a nursing home. I'm at the point where I don't care who gets offended when I speak the truth.

Oh yeah I know them! The 'BIG EXPERT ADVICE GIVER' sister that does NOTHING to help her own mom. Just tons of excuses.
But of course THEY know everything. Especially telling you how to do and run things. But of course they are never around to actually do it.

I had an "advice-giver" tell me she could not help me because I was making the caregiving "too complicated" and that wasn't her fault. The implied message was that I was trying to make it look like more work than it really was to justify my exhaustion and increasing lack of patience with LO. Advice-giver then gave several suggestions (demands) on how I could streamline things better - of course suggestions were mainly things that I'd already tried and found they did not work. Other suggestions she made were things that would have been nice, but were not things that truly streamlined things much - in fact, several of the things that were supposed to simplify would have only been additional duties for me. She topped it all off with an odd threat that I'd better get on track with things and stop looking for excuses to "dump" LO in a NH. Wow.

Oh I recognize these stories. Especially how people get used to catering to them cause they don't want to be on their bad side. Very true!

My mom has been gone for five years now but during the time I took care of her I used to shake my head at my one narc sister. She never did anything but when there were care meetings.( I think she attended one.) She came in with her notebook and pen acting like she was in charge. Or the times we called ambulances for my mom she'd be bustling around acting all important. She even flirted with one of the paramedics right in front of her husband while mom was being taken out in very serious condition. Nauseating.

While I know it's all over and I should have moved on and I have mostly. I still think back and get annoyed all over again. But this isn't anything new. My siblings have always treated me with a lack of respect. They all knew I was doing everything for mom and they just couldn't find it in themselves to give me any credit. To them I'll always be the scapegoat. I only see them at Christmas now but I see how they all try to relegate me back to what they are comfortable with which is little sis who they love to put down and treat like crap. The only difference now is I see it and let them know that it hasn't gone unnoticed where in the past I would just never say anything cause I didn't want to rock the boat.
I truly don't care anymore honestly. I don't need them in my life.