Can they kick her out?
My mom falls all the time. She has always been very independent, but now her judgement is poor so she thinks she can get up on her own. She won't wait for help at the NH. She fell yesterday and the day before. We're in the ER now because she broke her hip last night when she fell. She also has a mass on her lung and a stomach virus, so they're of course admitting her and she will need hip replacement.
I've been worried they would kick her out of the NH for not listening to them about getting up. Now I'm worried they'll say she can't come back. I don't know what I'll do if that happens. We are applying to medicaid next month once we finish her spend down. We got really lucky to find a medicaid bed at a nice facility and I don't want her to have to leave. There are not many other nice ones in our area that take Medicaid that don't have a huge waiting list.
6 Answers
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Speak to the DON at the nursing home and express your gratitude to them for caring for your mother and say that you don’t know how you could possibly manage caring for her at home. Do ask them what suggestions they have for preventing these falls from occurring again.
I think that you will be able to put your mind at ease knowing that they will hold a spot for your mom at the nursing home.
Wishing you and your mom all the best.
The NH has given me no indication they'll kick her out. I just have a bad feeling and I know they must be tired of all her falls and not being able to stop them.
She is just not gonna listen when they tell her not to get up on her own.
The thing is, she is still very strong, but her brain can't motor plan which is why she is weak and can't get off the floor. She has the muscle strength to do it but her brain can't tell her body. And she THINKS she can still do stuff.
If a wheelchair you recline it a bit, tilting the back a little. This makes it a bit more difficult to get out of the chair.
If she is in a regular chair reclining it a bit will also help and adjusting it so it is not as easy to get it upright. (my daughter used to direct my Husband into a rocker recliner chair that they had he could not get out of that chair until someone helped)
Placing a chair alarm helps but it can be disruptive.
Placing a chair right up against a table will slow someone down. Trying to get out of the chair you have to push it back and a movement like that should be noticed by staff.
There is also the great possibility that the broken hip will definitely slow her down and depending on how she does in rehab she may be past the trying to get up on her own.
I don't believe she will be getting up on her own now though. And maybe never. It's sad.
Generally Independent Living will not have staff come and help residents. So if mom is falling or depending on staff to help her then she really is not "Independent' and should probably be in Assisted Living.
If she is in AL and is not waiting for the help to arrive they may determine that she is a danger to herself and needs a higher level of care. They may not "kick her out" but they may suggest either Skilled Nursing or Memory Care. (is there a diagnosis of cognitive decline or dementia that might make her living in independent or Assisted more of a risk?)
If you signed a contract you may want to read your entire packet. They often state the reasons someone may be asked to leave.
The important thing for you is NOT to start upsetting apple carts at this time. Your Mom is going to need at least a month of time for rehab I would think. They are unlikely to "hold a bed" but they are likely to take her back if they have a bed, and I would assume that is the case.
Do not contact them until they contact you.
And once Mom is better it is important that you not accept her into your own care and home, even "temporarily" (because it won't be): not even with promises of "we can get you help " (they can't) and "we can make this work" (they won't).
Make certain that you let them know at discharge planning time that you are in no wise able to take your Mom into your care EVER even temporarily--not physically able, not mentally able, not emotionally able.
They will then have to find placement at her current facility (preferred) or a new one.
They do rehab at her facility, which is how she ended up there back in December after having COVID. I don't know if that is "enough" rehab, but I'm hoping if they send her back there for rehab it will help her keep her bed. It's scary because we're kind of in a gray area right now since we're applying for Medicaid next month.
I will be sure to say absolutely not to her coming to my home. Thank you for reminding me of that.