If my Dad has a car accident and has been drinking can they come back on me for not stopping him?

Is the car in your name? The insurance? If yes to either one, you are most definitely at least civilly liable should he have an accident while driving drunk. Well, even if he's NOT driving drunk, actually.

Your dad is a walking time bomb. If he has congestive heart failure, he's taking powerful diuretics to dump water from his system. Combine that action with alcohol, and my guess would be that even after ONE martini, he's legally drunk. Combined with some of the other medications he's taking, he could be legally drunk half-way through the first one. After two? He's blind drunk.

And although all you're worried about in your post here is yourself and your liability, how about the young mom taking her 2-year-old home from daycare? Crossing the center line and hitting her head on? There's the REAL problem.

What can you do? You can write a letter to the owner of the bar along with a photograph of your dad telling him that he is over-serving him every time he comes in. You can take his keys. You can hide his car. You can break the car key off in the ignition. You can disconnect appropriate wires under the hood to prevent it from starting. Insist that he take a cab to-and-from his watering hole. You can write a letter to his doctor telling him what you've told us and tell him to pull his license with the Secretary of State. You can write to the Secretary of State yourself. You can write to the local police department reporting him. You can call the cops and report erratic driving as he pulls away from the bar (whether it's erratic or not). You can install an alcohol interlock system on his car.

Lots of things you can do to prevent his driving. But you can't "do nothing".

Personal injury attorneys will sue the driver, the bar, the POA/Guardian and anyone else in the chain of knowledge. So Lizzie, you go to the NY DMV website at dmv.ny.gov and you print out the DS-7 form, fill it out and mail it in. This is a "Request for Driver Review". Let the DMV decide.

Update - I looked into the DS7 form with DMV. The only problem is it isn't anonymous. So I went to the police department. They filed a request for license review from them to the DMV. Also they will be watching for him to leave the local watering hole. They didn't stop him yesterday, wish they had. He made it home and then passed out in the chair. At least it is documented that I did something and hopefully soon the DMV will pull his license. I know he will be a bear to live with while this is happening. I'm sure he will blame me anyway. With the alcohol comes paranoia.

I appreciate all the answers. I will check out the DMV form. Also have talked to the police many times in the past 5 years. Today I am going to the police department to file formally. I hope this will give me some legal protection and maybe they will do something. They have pulled him over twice this year but they don't do anything. My problem gets compounded because I also have Mom who is 90 and totally disabled from a stroke and post stroke parkinsons. They have been married 71 years and she is totally under his control. If I piss him off he takes it out on her. If he gets mad at me he will forbid me to help Mom and then she has no one. So I have to be very careful to keep a balance. I have asked his Dr to step in and he won't. Believe me I do think of the woman with her child in the car. It makes me sick that I feel so stuck. Your posts have given me a new boost of courage. I agree I HAVE to do SOMETHING. Pray for me.

As a member of a family, who was almost destroyed by a drunk driver I feel you have a responsibility to take away those keys and disable or remove the car. If something happens while he is driving, do you really want a tragedy on your conscience? You know about his drinking and allowing him to drive makes you as guilty as your Dad. It is tough making the right decisions but it has to be done.

I agree with that he shouldn't drive for sure and what the other's here are saying... Another note to 'all' driver's: If you own your house and have assets get an 'umbrella' policy from any home or care insurance agency. It doesn't cost you much for a yr (I pay $128/yr) but you'll get a million dollars if someone should sue you... that includes if someone should fall and get hurt on your property.

They can't come after you. But if he hurts or kills someone, the victims will come after his house, money, and anything else of worth. Do you live with him? The house will be taken.

Angel

Disable his car, then do all that Pam has stated. He may have some rights and we may think we don't want to take away his privilege to drive but he has no right to take away someone's right to live. If you continue to let him drive the price may be much too high for everyone concerned if he should have an accident.

Lizzie, how does your Dad drive when he isn't drinking? If he is still a safe driver sober you wouldn't want to take away his driving privileges otherwise you would be doing all his driving for him. You'd be amazed how many errands elders can run when they are retired.

As for the drunk driving, treat Dad like an adult would treat a teenage son/daughter who came home driving drunk... ground him by taking away his keys for a week. Dad won't like that, but maybe then he would learn responsible driving.

You mentioned your Dad uses two canes, walks slow, and can't stand alone has very little to do with driving.... sitting is different, as long as one can still lift their leg without a lot of pain in their knee to put on the brake, they can still drive.

How about getting your mom out of there and into a NH where she can get proper care?