It's kind of a complicated situation but basically the whole reason why they took our grandparents out of the home is because of how my grandpa was living, and the basement which was having issues. The basement is fully fixed now but my grandpa's (who is a severe hoarder) apartment is still not done, we have done our best with no help from guardians and cleared out a bit of the apartment but there is still a lot left and the apartment needs professionals who have tools to make it full inhabitable again.

The guardians have expected us to do everything, and we tried because we want our grandmother home. She was living in the first floor which is completely clean and she is not affected by the mess of the 2nd floor since she lives on the first floor. Now she's been in a nursing home for almost 2 months because of all this and now when her insurance is due the guardian wants to bring her home. They also wanna bring my grandpa home so they want us to fix up the apartment.

And after so long of trying to fix up this apartment with no help or anything we are fed up. We don't want our grandpa home because he's gonna mess it up again and he's happy where he's at and we are tired of being treated like maids when we aren't the ones who did this to his apartment it's been like that for decades and now we are stuck dealing with it. He's the one who put us in the situation to begin with and we wouldn't have guardians over grandma if it wasn't for him. He also owns a property and has a lot of money that the guardian can use to get professional cleaners to come but she doesn't think that my grandpa should have to pay for anything with the house.

So is it possible for us to tell the guardians that we can't do the rest we and we can fill up a container but then we wanna be done with it. We don't support him coming back and we don't wanna be involved in having to keep the apartment tidy when he returns. We just feel completely powerless when it comes to the guardians because it feels like they can just come and take our grandma out of the apartment if we don't do everything they tell us to do.

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I would go to the court that is overseeing the guardianship and request they intervene to make the guardian pay for the clean up out of grandma and grandpa's money.

If there is no court overseeing this, there is no guardianship, that is always administered under a court, period. If this is the case, an attorney should be contacted about someone getting legal guardianship.

Edit: I posted before reading responses. I still say go to the court. Something smells with this situation. 
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
bgblck69 Jul 9, 2024
This is the reply that I most agree with. You should get a lawyer specializing in Elder Law and motion the court to force the guardians (if they control the money) to pay for the clean-up. I also agree that perhaps you should petition the court to make you the Guardian/Conservator of your grandparents' affairs.
Your grandparents should not be coming home. They need too much care and grandchildren should not be doing it. The Judge appointed guardians so now your grandparents are wards of the State. The State is in charge. They state has no control over you. They have control over your grands. So tell them you are done.

Not sure what you mean her insurance is due. The guardian is now in charge of your grandparents money. Its up to them to pay bills out of your grandparents funds. Tell them, grandpop cannot return home. Your are not cleaning up his mess only to have to clean it up again. You have lives. to live.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Who are these ‘guardians’? Who appointed them? They will have a ‘boss’ or some sort of ‘system’ in charge of them, and you should be going above their heads to complain if you don’t agree with what they are doing or requiring you to do. If some sort of government agency is in charge, that is a suitable situation for going to the Ombudsman, which oversees unreasonable actions by public servants and government agencies. The Ombudsman is free to approach, although some people use a lawyer to get their ducks in line. Remember that the issue to complain about is not what your grandparents need, but what the ‘guardian/s’ is requiring you to do.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
waytomisery Jul 2, 2024
Good question !

I was assuming the guardians were other family members . 🤦‍♀️
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You are being played & this guardian is using your desire to have your sweet grannie back living in her 1st floor section of the home you are emotionally tied to and their also using your lack of experience in dealing with how elder care and facilities are set up against you.

if this guardian is a family member, they are imho a real POS.
if this guardian is an outsider appointed by the court, they are lazy.
If you are the guardian, it is all on you to deal with.

Unless you & your fellow grandchildren have been legally placed by a judge to be the Guardian or Conservator for your grandparents, you have no - none - nada - zero responsibility for anything for the grands.

If this was a hoarder situation and they were a forced removal from the home, I’m guessing that APS aka Adult Protective Services was involved in the process and likely also your city / county safety & permit type of department. When this happens there often is an “emergency ward of the State” done so the judge has issued orders for this to happen and from that point on that appointed person is 100% responsible for deal with this mess. Was this the backstory?
Well whatever the case IF you choose to or your parents or Aunts & Uncles choose to do stuff at the hoarder house, that is your choice to do and done under a sense of familial concern but NOT required. The only way I can see you having to deal with this sh*tshow is IF you were a resident at the home at the time and this is a known fact as your drivers license has this as your address, so you bear some degree of responsibility. Otherwise that guardian can pound sand.

Your grands have monthly income paid to them by Social Security; they also own property IN ADDITION to the hoarder home. They have health insurance. They have assets that can be sold to pay for whatever needed to BOTH pay to get this hovel of a home cleaned & fixed up to be market ready to be sold AND to private pay for them to stay at the current NH. They may have other assets as well. All - ALL - of their assets totally fall under the purview of that guardian to repair, sell, liquidate, close out etc to provide for funds needed for both of them to continue to stay in a facility that meets their levels of care needed. And that guardian can pay themselves a fee (the State has a $ amount affixed for the fee). If they are taking fee and at the same time pressing on free family labor, that is total nonsense.

imho as long as you cling to a vision of grannie moving back to the house and life will be oh so nice, this guardian has power over you. And they know it….

You mentioned a dumpster, do NOT do anything that makes you responsible for this rental. Having a container placed can get really costly real fast as this type of biz is able to do loads (pun intended) of add on fees to the perhaps seemingly low rental.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to igloo572

If grandma is in a nursing home now , she must need help . Who will help her when she gets home ?

What kind of medical issues do your grandparents have ? What do they need help with , bathing , meals , incontinence etc ?? More info would be helpful to get answers.

If grandparents need a lot of help , probably best to leave them where they are and not bring them home.

You keep saying “ we want grandma home “ . But is that realistic ??

You have no power here . The guardians have all the power over where grandma lives , no matter how much cleaning you do or don’t do.

I’m guessing it’s better off that neither comes home anyway.
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Reply to waytomisery
Spinatchi Jul 2, 2024
My grandma has dementia and had strokes so she is bedbound and needs help with everything she does like bathing, eating and also needs people around her. We were caring for her since she got ill, we are able to care for her as we did before and she had no bed sores and was taken care of well, its just because of the house that the courts took her. But they told us she can come home.

They just want us to clean up his aparment so they don't have to pay themselves. Our grandpa newly was diagnosed with dementia and we aren't interested in caring for him he can stay where he is at if they can pay for it.
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If the home is a filthy, dangerous, hoarded mess that requires professional cleaning services and contractors, no you lot cannot get it cleaned up and safe on your own.

Who is this "guardian"? Is it a family member and was the guardianship done legally? This part is important. If it's an informal arrangement and not done legally in writing, that's something different.

Now, you can petition the court to get yourself appointed your grandmother's guardian if grandma is mentally incompetent and you can prove her current guardian is not acting in her best interests.

You cannot however prevent your grandfather from coming back to his home. This guardian person is supposed to be administering their funds on their behalf. That means paying for professional help to clean the house out and to make repairs to it if necessary.

If this person expects to drop gram and gramps back off in the hoard because their insurance is running out, they're going to very likely rip them off and commit financial elder abuse.

Igloo is right. This guardian person is banking on your ignorance of how care facilities operate and elder care operates.

Just because you're ignorant of it doesn't mean you have to stay that way.
Have a consultation with a lawyer. The first meeting is free. If you don't have money try calling Legal Aid services to see if there's anything that can be done so this guardian person can't take advantage. Even visit the probate court in their town. The people there will point you in the right direction on what actions you can take.

Igloo is also right about this guardian person being a real POS and lazy. They have a legal obligation to act in the best interests of your grandparents and they are not doing that. You can be sure they're collecting their pay though.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
Igloocar Jul 11, 2024
I am very confused because her grandparents have been divorced since 1982, so they have no legal relationship. In whose name(s) is the house--both grandparents or just the grandfather? Does the ownership affect who can live there? It seems unusual to me to plan for a divorced couple to live in the same house.
The apartment is all under one roof. Even though the basement or first floor may be clean and grandma wants to live there, if the rest of the house is a hoarder's paradise and junky and dirty and may include vermin, the house isn't going to pass inspection. It's one house, one entity, and anyone who inspects cannot certify that it's okay to occupy when part of it clearly is not.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Fawnby
BlueEyedGirl94 Jul 9, 2024
THIS. I've seen enough episodes of Hoarders (Yes, I know it's for show, but still some reality there) to know that just because one space in a home is clean it doesn't mean the house is safe for occupancy. There can be mold or structural issues hidden that you can't see from the "safe" area.

You shouldn't be responsible for the clean up effort - it sounds like it is overwhelming - and potentially a dead end anyway if there are problems with the house that will then need to be addressed once the house is cleaned up anyway.

But it also sounds like she probably needs 24/7 care - and in most cases - in home care is not going to sign off on a house that is like you describe and would likely just turn around and report to APS anyway.

Is it possible to move her to a safer home or a SNF or Memory Care?
Spinatchi: Cleaning up the apartment is not your responsibility. Nor could you even accomplish it as it would take a professional team.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Llamalover47

You do not have to clean out your grandfather's apartment.
I think you have been trying to do this to get your grandmother back in her home.
I've read some of the other answers here and your responses. While you could just walk away, you wish to take better care of your grandmother than she is receiving in the Nursing Home. And it sounds like this is important to you.

I don't know who these guardians are that you refer to. It sounds as if some county or state agency has removed your grandparents from the home because it is uninhabitable. That is far too large a chore for you to take on without professional help!

Does the guardian have POA over grandpa's money? Perhaps you - or some family member could get POA over his finances and pay for professionals to come in and make his home habitable.

If Grandpa's hoarding mess is preventing her from coming home, could she go elsewhere? To your home? Or rent an apartment?

You can petition the court to appoint you as Grandma's guardian, and provide suitable living quarters for her. But she may just have to stay in the nursing home. The care is not going to be on the level that you can provide. It may be better, it may be worse. Perhaps you can find a better nursing home for her to be transferred to. Some are better than others.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to CaringWifeAZ
Igloocar Jul 11, 2024
A POA must be done by the person for whom the POA is assigned. That is, the grandfather has to agree to whomever his POA is. Also, with a dementia diagnosis, you can not usually set up a POA, so even if the grandfather himself wanted to change it, he might not be able to. Occasionally, an attorney decides someone is still competent to assign a POA with a dementia diagnosis.
Spinatchi - why not leave her in the nursing home where she has professional caregivers 24/7 and go there to brush her teeth and wash her face, if that worries you?
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Reply to Fawnby

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