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It's so frustrating when they rush your parent off to an ER and don't even notify you. I had that with my mom in independent living. She had a nosebleed that the medication aid saw and they immediately called 911. Never called me (I lived and worked less than 1.5 miles away). They whisked her off to the ER and I finally found out about it after she was already there. I was SO angry. My mom had previous nosebleeds and all you had to do was have her lie flat and put some Vaseline in her nose. But they rushed her to the ER and it was 4 hours before I could get her home. She couldn't even remember why she was there.

After that, I put signs up everywhere in her room and made it very clear they were to call me before they ever took her to the ER again. SHEESH. Like Windy says, they want you to go to follow-up visits and when you do, they say, "Why are you here?" They never have any idea or seem to really care or have a plan. Taking care of seniors isn't for the faint of heart! You've gotta have nerves of steel.
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Countrymouse, you crack me up! Windy ridge is right. It’s all because of the CYA policies that the facilities must abide by. My mom’s SNF was the same way.
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Yes, I’ve gone through similar stuff with my parents in assisted living. Overall it’s a great place but they do have strict policies about what triggers an ER or hospital visit. And yes, it’s a CYA dynamic much of the time.

I had poa and now guardianship for Dad. Mom died this past April. I had a good relationship with the admin folks. Some things were a definite ER trip. Mom would have a bad fall, nurse suspected a broken bone and off we go. Other times they would call me and say it was a minor issue, I should decide. I always said no.

The bigger problem for me was all the follow up visits that all these docs insisted on. The ortho Guy, the neuro Guy.....It was ridiculous. This was an 88 year old woman with dementia and broken bones who just wanted to stay in bed a be left at peace.

I put an end to those follow ups. Like we’re gonna do neuro surgery on this poor women. The AL folks were reluctant but cooperated with me. They know the reality but they gotta watch those policies.
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Blimey.

Sorry. Lost for words.

Just blimey.

I'm stuck at the 'catheterisation to get a decent quality urine sample' stage. They want to shove a catheter up an elderly lady's how's-your-father because they don't have the time, patience or skill to get a decent mid-stream sample?

Blimey.

Is your MIL fantastically combative about toileting, or something?
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Sorry about that Countrymouse - I wasn't very clear. Yesterday the Assisted Living called me at work to say mother-in-law might have a UTI. The cultures they took came back contaminated so they wanted her to get catheterized for a good sample. I agreed. I immediately called Urologist who couldn't see her until July 10. The Assisted Living nurse told me that was not soon enough and I would have to take her to the Emergency Room immediately! Mother-in-law was not in ANY discomfort at all. She does not get physical symptoms when she has a UTI. Her behavior changes a bit in that she becomes more confused than normal. I called the Urologist back and basically begged for an appointment because I did not think spending hours in an ER was in mother-in-laws best interests. Urologist found an appointment for her yesterday at 4:00. They will get a culture and I'll have the results Thursday. However, they found no bacteria, and basically told me the Assisted Living overreacted. This is the 2nd time the Assisted Living has "strong armed" us with the threat of the E.R.! It is just so frustrating. The cynic in me wonders if the patient is secondary and the Assisted Living primary motivation is " covering their assets". Anyone else have similar experience?
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What am I missing, JoAnn? Where did you see that the OP's mother had had a fall, or that DaisyB is her POA/HCP?
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No. Mom has a right to refuse as her POA you do too.

My Mom was taken to ER 4x in 4 months for falls. She had Dementia and would complain about pain. After the 4th time and no broken bone. I spoke with the RN and asked that the staff wait before calling the ambulance. 3 out of 4x I wasn't called until after she was sent. Yes, she probably does hurt, doesn't everyone after a fall but do you go to the hospital? Give her time to get up and walk around. If she continues to complain, call me. Besides hating to sit in ERs, each visit was confusing for Mom and she didn't like being poked and prodded. I would think they would just ask you to sign a release absolving them of any responsibility. If they do call an ambulance, your Mom can say she doesn't want to go and they can't make her. Besides, depending on the problem, you should not take her to the ER anyway. You could do more harm than good.
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In what sense?

Do you mean, can they insist that your mother is taken to the ER but you don't agree that it is necessary.

Or, do you mean, can they force you - you rather than a member of a staff, or an ambulance - to take your mother to the ER even though you are not comfortable escorting her; but you do agree she needs to go.
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