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Is ur Mom in an AL or LTC or in her own home.

I never tried to entertain my Mom. Thats not me. I never did it with my girls. They were always able to entertain themselves. My Mom was an avid reader. She still could read but she lost the ability of being able to follow and comprehending a story. She never played cards, did crafts or puzzles. Can't be taught when they have no short term memory. First thing that goes is reasoning and being able to process what is being said. My Mom could not hold a conversation. She would just ramble. Whatever flew into her mind at that moment and quickly left. I would answer her and she would give me that look, what are u talking about. So, I would visit no more than 1/2 hour. I would talk to the residents around us. When she was in LTC, there was a sweet woman there who knew Mom from Church. She visited her husband who never said a word. So her and I would sit and talk but she would always say to my Mom, isn't that the truth or what do u think Peg.

Moms LTC had something going all afternoon. Activities, movies and entertainment. Mom enjoyed watching. I had asked that she never be left in her room alone unless napping.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Janicesdaughter, I do understand what you’re asking. But, visiting with a person who has dementia is a different experience from visiting someone who is not cognitively impaired. When a person is able to actively participate in conversations, discuss current events, sports teams, media personalities and such it’s much easier to engage with them. But people who suffer with dementia can”t do much of that. They may think Truman is still president or like in my mom’s case, that she was going home to sit on her parent’s front porch from the 1920’s.

When I visited, I let her direct the conversation. It depended entirely on which Universe she was residing in that day. Some days we’d go play bingo with others and some days we’d sit in her room and talk about her childhood and young womanhood and what the world was like then. Then, there were the days she’d tell me men were stalking her and coming through secret passageways in her wall.

If your loved one can participate, bring a simple puzzle, or a photo album. If allowed, bring their favorite snack or, as I used to, a fast food meal which my mother loved. If not, just sit and let them talk. Include them in conversations. Do not exclude them and speak with other visitors who may be in the room “over” your loved one. If it’s a “bad” day and they are anxious or very confused, keep the visit short and come back in a few days. There is no reason to visit for hours when your loved one may not even recognize you.

Think about what your loved one liked to do when they were younger. Chances are that’s what they remember. Accept them for who they are now.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Don't really understand the question. I visit, I ask questions about their day and so on, I don't attempt to entertain them, if they want entertainment there is plenty available where they reside...activities galore...which they do not participate in...their choice.
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Reply to DollyMe
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