Can my siblings send my Mom to nursing home/hospice home when she says no?

If she is of sound mind they cannot. There are programs available that would provide in home help for her, call your local Area Agency on Aging, senior center or Commission on Aging to see what programs she is eligible for.

Putting in caps cause it's short and important - do you have HOSPICE on call. I wonder if they would help - they should be quite motivated to help her die in her own home!!!! Please call and let us know..... My experience was to ignore the suggestion for hospice because i thought it was only for those really close to death - the true requirement is the POSSIBILITY of death within 6 MONTHS and if their health improves, they can become NOT hospice.... also hospice is not a PLACE, it is a group of people who work with those close to death to keep them comfortable and happy - to make death as calm as possible for them and their family. They will continue to support the family even after the loss. They would work hard to keep your mom in home if that is at all possible - wow I just realized you were talking about hospice all along - please review what hospice can do - they should help her STAY IN HER HOME but only if that is truly the best place she can receive peace, and for peace, there would need to be safety etc., so talk to hospice, and talk to more than one if you don't like the answers, it's like anything, there are other suppliers, providers and it is a service.

I ignored the hospice suggestion for my Mom and have ALWAYS regretted it.

Hospice services provided services for my late husband, and the visiting hospice social worker let me know when she thought it was time for him to live in a nursing home because caring for him 24/7 was taking too great a toll on me. I valued their hands-on help showering him, changing bed linens and taking charge of his medications, as well as educating me about his condition. I highly recommend hospice services for any patient who is eligible.

I know this will upset some people, but I would never make those demands on my children, because the burden is too great. And I don't see that as being a loving parent. I see it as being a selfish, self-centered parent. You should do the RIGHT thing, which is making sure mom or dad gets the BEST care, and if that means care in a nursing home, then that is what is best for THEM and you should not feel guilty. BTW, I'm almost 80, and I just don't understand why this is such a huge issue for you 'children.'