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I was POA and caregiver for both parents. Dad passed. Day of funeral the plan took place to have me removed by poisoning mother against me and had me leave. They changed all legal docs including will, after which they began removing the most valuable items which were to be divided equally in the will between the six children. Mother had documented dementia at the time of admittance to the nursing home. They say she is competent. They took away the car my parents gave me, they changed all legal documents except insurance on home owners and auto. They changed the will and then cleaned out the 1200sq. ft garage of vehicles, tools, garden tractor, freezer etc. When I found later that I was still liable on both polices I canceled them. These policies were then reinstated 5 times in 54 days in my name. Even the auto which had been impounded was picked up by non family member with insurance in my name which had been canceled twice in less than a month. My self and 2 sisters are blocked from contact or knowledge of our mother. She will soon be 90. She has been documented with dementia by 2 doctors. She will not speak to us after much emotional abuse and isolation. This is all about one family member wanting the property and house without having to pay market value.

Our mother has numerous physical problems which are not being fully addressed. I suspect some Identity theft is involved with her insurance through the nursing home. I have turned in complaints to the AL AG and the ALDOI for insurance fraud and identity theft. I have submitted grievances to Ombudsman in Mobile, AL for neglect. Their reaction is that this is a civil "domestic family issue". I get stonewalled everywhere I turn. No one responds. I have hard copy documentation for all of this.

Because of HIPPA we have no knowledge of our mother's health status as the medical POA has us blocked. She has serious medical conditions. A non family member substitutes as POA overseeing care and even attending care plan meetings but WE her daughters cannot see her. The NH was told of the medical and financial and ID theft and now doesn't return calls.

I live in TN and mother is in AL. I don't where else to turn to keep this situation from spiraling more out of control. I can't afford more legal. Sister and I did see an atty but all we got was a $550 consultation fee with no help at all.

Do we have any Social Services help available to get the gold diggers from destroying everything?

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DeKane,
You can petition probate court anytime you want, within statue of limitations, especially when there is a non resolvable issue within the court's jurisdiction like partitioning, guardianship, conservatorship, visitation etc...Whether it's your father's estate or your mother's situation.

If you can't afford a lawyer request pro bono help from legal aid. They don't take civil or probate cases, but may be a resource to guide you to a lawyer who will take your circumstances into account. You could also talk with the probate clerk who, like all of us can't give legal advice, but can guide you in the right direction. It doesn't matter if the estate is set up not to go to probate upon passing, but keep in mind, once a probate case is open it could turn into a can of worms.
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De kane, please sit down and talk to an attorney. All your fathers assets have to be accounted for. Dividing equally without probate is impossible.
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The house has been deeded to the 6 children with a life estate. There won't be any probate....We can't do anything until Mom passes,,,all will have been raided by then. It's mess.
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Dekane - My heart goes out to you - going through almost the same thing. My sister kidnapped my mother and all I can tell you is:

APS - can only help by removing your mother from a harmful (physical, emotional, financial) situation. There are not there to assist you. I have been dealing with them for a year now. They have no authority or jurisdiction regarding other matters example POA. They can't even force issues to probate. On the up side, they have to investigate every single complaint or allegation.

Police: Will tell you it is a civil / probate issue. I ended up getting a criminal trespass warning against my sister and her husband to keep them away from me.

Here's where there is hope: Probate Court. Petition probate for guardianship and conservatorship (even if you are out of state, AL will probably appoint a state rep considering so much dissension is present.) THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT: GET PROBATE TO DECLARE HER INCOMPETENT ONCE YOU OR SOMEONE ELSE GETS CONTROL. I'm surprised the siblings haven't done it yet - it's really hard to reverse once a probate judge has ruled, having 2 independent doctors say she's incompetent in probate is all it takes here/GA. Make sure you know the legal definition and test for incompetency. My mother is in stage 6 dementia with zero short term memory and still does not meet the definition.

Medical/HIPPA - No way around it except: Most compassionate nursing home employees will provide scraps of information as long as they know they won't be caught. Better yet, find a relative of another patient who visits often... they can be your eyes and ears, worked great with my grandmother when I was out of state.

Best of luck - sorry you have to go through this - I never believed the stories about feuding families, until ours became one.
Prayers are with you -
JfromGa
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DeKane, you have done the right by your parents if you lived with them and took care of them. You have to let the AL AG get to the bottom of it. Since she is in a Nursing Home, they will likely get the bulk of anything monetary.
Your father's estate will have to be probated first, assets are likely frozen until that happens. Bear in mind the NH may claim part of the estate. Be thankful you are not the executor, because sorting this out will take a judge.
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Yes, I know, the guardian, conservatorship runs at least 2k.
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At this point you need an attorney to fight for you that they could not change the prior POA due to her mental capacity. Your only hope may be guardianship, you cannot do this on your own you needs a KICK BUTT ATTORNEY!
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We all seem to be dealing with issues of greed by individuals who lack morality. The ones who are trying to honestly help are demonized. The Social Services in place do not back up the Elder Laws in place. My sisters and I did consult with a self proclaimed Elder Law Atty and all we got from her was empty pockets.....she didn't follow through on anything she claimed she would do. APS and ombudsman did nothing as well and view this as a family dispute and a civil issue. THEY do not follow or understand the law. At this point EVIL RULES.
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The problem with having an elder law attorney,
is that they charge 350.00 for a consultation, want 10,000.up front and cannot guarantee if they can win the case.
We are representing ourselves. If you look up the property at 4451 N. Maplewood Av.
Chicago, IL you will find her building in this turned down economy only sold for 425,000 in a neighborhood that has high property value should/could have received more money but they were in a hurry to sell, other dys.sibs, GAL, when they did this we were denied "cash and counseling" because she had liquid assets, of course the GAL and everybody involved can dip in whenever, but the caregiver...

Our 86 year old is an Austrian immigrant and arrived here
Halloween 1956 with her husband (now deceased for 11 yrs at the age of 92)
and her 5 children. Only the baby never married and stayed behind, now that he is 61,
and at a vulnerable time, they are acting like he was never their (father had severe RA and died /prostate cancer.
But getting back to the property it lists its selling features, new windows electric, ct bathrooms, kitchens, newly remodeled, etc, put in by (wrongfully accused) a deadbeat son..., who was to get paid- back when they sold the building, nodda,

taking care of 86 year old in her home for 5 years so she could stay in her home and when they sold the building, court ordered 18 months ago to caregive FOR FREE, never thinking they might mean forever...

Never heard of such but I am sure they(GAL , huardian lawayer, etc.) are charging her estate big bucks to keep us from getting paid.

These 4 sibs live less than 50 miles away, so their really was no excuse except their retaliation for us reporting them to senior services (otherwise known as the senior abuse hotline) when I kept (4 years) paying for her food and medicine because they refused to reimburse me when the circumvented her check to their home address, so we reported them for neglect and financial abuse of a senior May 2011.
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I am no expert. I would say contact an elder law attorney. I don't know if you do have any recourse but - boy - I am pulling for you! Your siblings sound like real a**holes! They make my sister - who once threatened to get a court order prohibiting me from seeing our mother (because I had the audacity to be honest and tell her she had - and I didn't even use the "A" word) a memory disease - look rather saintly! My sister never came around on the honesty issue (she never was good at honesty anyway - and she is a retired LAWYER) but it eventually did not matter and she finally just let me do the things (care-wise) that were best for Mother. Good luck!!!!!!
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I thought my mess was a mess... My siblings aren't here in state w/bro and I, but mom fills there ears w/lies etc... We don't even try to defend ourselves anymore...just let them believe whatever; when they get off lazy xyz and come visit then they can see truth for themselves (Mom Skcizo/paranoid, vascular dementia etc..) Now with her calling Dept of Social Services (Adult Pro Svc's) w/lies; my bro and I wish other siblings would come care for her. I'm at the point who cares about house, car, property.... It's been a nightmare just trying to care for her when she's the one throwing havoc, and conflict.
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Iwentanon, Yes, this scenario being played out everywhere unregulated. Fortunately you have her now, I can only speak with mine on the phone only recently for a couple minutes at a time. At this point my sisters and I have no power or recourse until the settling of the house which was deeded to the sibs with a life estate years ago. That will be the next nightmare. Court is in our future as well. Good luck.....Is your elder the widow of a Veteran in WWII? If she is YOU can receive caregiver wages with Aid and Attendance..... I did that for mine....I can give you some direction there.
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Making me out to be a nut (not going along with the program)
what they have done in the "what comes around goes around"
is taught their children, how to treat them when they are in the same place.

They think their children will look at them differently, ah, no!
it is only a question of being around long enough to see it happen...
but then if I am not around, there won't be someone to stop them....
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This will not help you, but I wanted you to know you are not alone.
This is the crime of the century against old widows,
being taken advantage by the children they thought they could trust.


We are involved in the same thing except theirs escalated,
into the selling of her home where there were five sibs
she is Austrian and her children are what they call 1.5's
after the diagnosis, they acted like she has no feelings,
isn't smart enough to know her preferences, etc.
our 86 yr. old wanted to live in her house until she died
(her words, I want to be carried out like my husband).
and while the husbands grave was still warm,
they plotted.

I tried to get the district attorney involved,
but they said it was domestic,civil law not criminal law.

I thought it was trashing the person and going through their money, like stealing...
Now for 1 and 1/2 years later, I have her, but am not paid.

I have no words for this. Court is tomorrow!
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First, thank you for your support and suggestions. I did contact APS first. I was told since mom is in nursing home this is a "family dispute.". I then went to ombudsman. It took her a month to "lay eyes" on Mom. Nursing home was given a heads up weeks before and addressed some issues. Her toenails were growing over the end of her toes. By the time the investigator "visited" she had been taken to a podiatrist. The whole visit was orchestrated and a week later Mom was in hospital with pneumonia......it has been this way every where I have turned. They make me out to be a "nut". It is difficult with the distance barrier. Mom had documented dementia with her primary care giver and the NH doc on admittance almost 2 years ago now. Supposedly 2 doc reports were produced to change POA and Will.......who knows. "Evil Twin" siblings have conjured up many "fake" and illegal documents. Then they "helped" themselves to what they wanted. This is very disturbing.....as you all say ....what goes 'round comes 'round.......
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How did they change. Poa. Bc once mom has a mental issue like that she cannot sign anything
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I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. These greedy siblings will have to face God one day for what they are doing. Hang in there! And, don't give up on trying to get back control of that POA so you and your 2 sisters can spend whatever time your mom has left with you.

Jeannegibbs is right. Contact APS. They will investigate any reports of abuse, neglect, and exploitation on any older adult and will respond within about 10 days. I know this because my husband and I had to call a couple times for my husband's mentally ill cousin and Aunt. A caregiver committed fraud against his Aunt and was taking advantage of both.

As for the Fraud, contact the police department and try to make a report. Every county police department should have a fraud division. So even try to talk to a Fraud detective/investigator. If they are hard to get a hold of, they are probably pretty busy but just bug them until you get a response back.

As for the POA and other legal documents that seem to have been modified by your unkind siblings, I would also suggest trying to talk to another or several lawyers because these new documents could be questionable considering the fact that your mom has documented Alzheimers. I know that lawyers are expensive so try the Legal Aid Society or a Pro Bono Lawyer. For Pro Bono Lawyers, go to your local county clerk and they should have a list of Pro Bono Lawyers or even google them on the internet for Lawyers in your area.

Good Luck! And, remember GOOD ALWAYS PREVAILS IN THE END!! God Bless you and I will keep you in my prayers. ;-)
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Have you contacted Adult Protective Services in mother's county?
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