My sister is POA over mom’s healthcare, However, I live with our mother and primarily care for her. My sister and I are shared executors of our mother’s estate and together WE (my sister and I) executors over all finances together. I am the beneficiary of the home that I currently live in with our mother.
My sister is POA over, my mother’s healthcare ONLY. She has wanted to put our mother in a home for many years. but has not been able to because dad was living. Dad has recently passed away. And now sister has power over our mother‘s healthcare.
Although my mother has Alzheimer’s, she can put on her own clothes she can feed herself, and she can bathe herself, physically she is in great condition. She has had some dizziness lately, and there is a concern for fall risk, but her physical therapist has been working with her as well as her primary care doctor to determine the source of dizziness.
Can sister sell our mother’s home in the name of paying for and putting our mother in a NH (since she is legally responsible for mothers care even though i am the one doing the care) or Assisted living facility. does she need my consent to sell our mothers home since we are shared executors of the estate, BUT I am the beneficiary of the home if/when our mother passes away?
Sister is MPOA. That means that sister has ZERO power as far as finances go. She cannot sell a home, pay bills, etc. She can ONLY DEAL WITH MEDICAL ISSUES.
You go on to speak about EXECUTOR.
EXECUTORS only come into the picture at the DEATH OF YOUR MOTHER.
The appointed executors distribute the remainder of mom's estate and pay her last bills as dictated by the will. The executor has NO POWER until your mother is DEAD.
According to what you are writing us there is a huge appointment missing here and that is
GENERAL POA.
This person is responsible for acting for your mother when she is STILL LIVING but unable due to incompetency to act for herself.
This person would
A) pay all bills
B) put their name as POA on all accounts
C) keep careful records of every penny into and out of accounts
D) attend an elder law attorney with you to complete a shared living expenses/care contract to see to it you could care for your mother, feed and house your mother, and etc.
E) Manage ALL THINGS stipulated in the POA at the time it was conferred.
Only a competent person can appoint a GENERAL POA.
If mother neglected to do this, and you are caring for her, you should see an elder law attorney and ask how to become guardian or conservator for mother. THat mean you would act for her in her best interest and keep careful records of all actions.
If you feel incapable of this, Sister can apply.
If you don't trust sister to act in her best interest call APS tomorrow, make an appointment with them, and discuss ALL OF THIS
OR
Make an appointment with an elder law attorney.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you will update us.
Your sisters responsibility is to carry out Moms wishes as written in the Medical POA. Also, she is the one who talks to Drs and nurses. If a health crisis comes up not mentioned in the MPOA, then she makes the decision based on the info given and what she feels Mom wants.
Was Dad Mom's Medical POA and sister secondary? I think in that scenario, your sister does not become MPOA automatically. I think she needs to see a lawyer (the one who wrote it would be best) to invoke hers. She may need to show Dads death certificate and prove Mom is incompetent to make informed decisions. Usually with a MPOA, a doctor or doctors has to claim the principle incompetent to invoke the MPOA. Did Dad invoke his? If not, sisters probably isn't either.
Was Dad the Financial POA for Mom? If so, no secondary? Or no FPOA for Mom at all? If not, someone may need to become her guardian and that should be u. Her money can be used for this purpose.
Not trying to be smart or rude here, but I think now that Dad is gone both you and your sister should go together and speak to an Elder Lawyer. I don't think either of you understands how Power of Attorneys work or how Medicaid may effect Mom in the future. How are you beneficiary of the house? As an inheritance or a "Life Estate" meaning Mom can remain in the house till her passing and then it reverts to you. Or, your an actual owner now and she can remain till her passing. This is important to know. Under Medicaid a house is an exempt asset till death and then its not. Then Medicaid can ask that the house be sold so they can recover some of the money they put out for a persons care. You have to find out how you stand with the house because it will determine if its an asset for Mom or not.
Executor, you need to understand this. Making you both Executor was not a good idea because already I see where this is going to cause a problem. You may want to turn the responsibility over to a lawyer when the time comes. An Executor, though, just does what the Will tells them to do. There are some filings that need to be done for the State and IRS. Probate gives u all the info u need. Bills have to be paid first. Then what is left is divided according to the Will.
While Mom is alive, the Executorship and the Will mean nothing. They do not come into effect until after death. That money Mom may have had could be gone because it was used for her care. That house, if left to you, may not be there because Mom needed Medicaid and the sale of house was needed to pay the Medicaid lien. So don't count ur chickens before they hatch.
Being executor of the estate does not come into play until the principle passes away.
Nor does the beneficiary designation hold any weight until after death.
My sister and I are both on the Medical POA; she as primary and me as alternate. However; Mom lives permanently with me where me and my husband only provide care for her, i.e., travel to doctor appointments, managing prescriptions and intake schedules for her meds, food/menu preparations, personal hygiene just overall care. I am also the primary agent on her Durable Financial POA. Does this situation allow me more liberty for making decisions?
Since we have no way to know how advanced her cognitive impairment is, I suggest you take her to an elder law attorney who will then privately assess her for capacity. Please know this is a pretty low bar, so even if she's forgetful or has mild/early dementia she still may have the legal definition of capacity.
If she no longer has capacity you may now need to pursue guardianship for her through the courts. There is no other way to legally manage/make financial decisions on her behalf.
Executorship only starts the minute your Mother passes away. Being a beneficiary has nothing to do with having legal authority to manage your Mother's financial affairs while she is living.
As suggested by others, please have an elder law attorney explain what your responsibilities are, and your options for managing your Mother's financial affairs legally.
Also, most banks will require you to bring her into the building in person if you want to add yourself to her checking account, even if you were her FPoA or guardian/conservator. They have their own protocols for this.
One says time for NH - now.
The other wants care at home - for how long?
Please try to get on the same page - for your Mother's sake.
ASK each other the reasons why you want NH or Home. LISTEN to each other's reasons. TRY to gain insight into each other's view. Then hopefully you can discuss, reasonable.
If not, gaining third party input may help. Eg obtaining a current health assessment, discussing with the Doctir, a licenced Social Worker or Aged Care assessor.
You use the term 'Executor' and say that you and your sister are the executors of your mother's estate. That means that you are the ones who distribute it according to her last Will and Testament after she passes away. There is no estate now while she is still living.
If you are living with your mother and providing the appropriate level of care she needs to safely remain at home, what's the problem? Your sister wants to burn through all of your mother's assets with a nursing home instead of allowing you to care for her?
Alva in the comments is right. There's a big piece missing here.
Does your sister know that if your mother gets placed that the property is usually the last asset to go when the nursing home/memory care is on cash pay from a new resident? They take all the bank accounts, investments, insurance policies get cashed in, and everything else. It all gets 'spent-down' on her care and then the home is sold and they take that too. So your sister will likely also come out with nothing.
It sounds like everyone's involved is getting a pretty sweet deal with you keeping mom at home and caring for her.
The best advice is for you both to take all the documents to a lawyer, each say what you want to do, and then ask the lawyer whether each of you has the power to do what they want to do. When you find that out, perhaps you can discuss the best way forward.
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