How can a POA take my mom's ashes from the cemetery?

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before she was even put into her niche next to my dad.This was prepaid for. My dad had prepaid for everything should anything ever happen to my mom, so nothing would have to be done as far burial & funeral costs were concerned. I found out when I went to visit the cemetery, the POA "signed" my mom out & he and the executor NEVER buried her (put her ashes/Urn) into her niche next to my dad. I don't get this at all, but it does go along with all the other bad things they have managed to do. I always thought the POA's power ended when my mom died. And now he goes stealing her "ashes", too. It is bad enough he has managed to steal her belongings from her estate and her money, but now this. Advice on what to do? I do not speak with either the POA or Executor - nasty, dishonest "non-siblings".

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heartbroken- what people believe in regards to the rituals surrounding death can vary greatly. Personally, I want to be cremated and scattered somewhere meaningful to me and my hubby - but as the other reply pointed out, you can remember and reflect on your loved one anywhere. Still, to me at least, the more troubling aspect of this is that your mothers wishes have been ignored - to this point at least. This strikes me as a childish power play - ultimate control. For your own sake I would advise to let it go and move on
- leaving your selfish siblings behind if that's what it takes to bring peace into your life. When you want to visit with your mother, go to a place that you and she shared together.
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Thank you, for your kind thoughts.The cemetery did tell me that EVERYTHING was prepaid for & that is what I do not seem to understand, why neither one of them buried her. I feel the same way, too, mom's soul is already in God's hands...it is one day at a time for me! As far as ever communicating with the non-siblings - highly unlikely. I will forgive, but I do not have to part of their lives. Both have been that way their entire lives & I refuse to associate with people like that. I have an awesome husband and kids to lean on - and of course, God! I don't need their negativeness, lies and nastiness in my life anymore. All they have done is hurt me & it is time it stops.
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My condolences on your mother's death. I know you are heartbroken. I will be as well, I'm sure, when mine passes. I'm sorry that your question has been overlooked. I'm not sure that I have any real answers for you, but I do feel your pain. I have a couple of thoughts. One is that perhaps there are additional costs incurred even though your dad prepaid. I know that with a burial, you have to pay for the opening and closing of the grave outside of the preneed policy. Perhaps the executor and your brother are biding their time, thinking what to do. Especially if they have stolen all your mother's money. Since you haven't talked to them, you might not know the real answer to their actions.

Secondly, you can continue to visit the cemetery. Your dad and mom have niches there and you can meditate and pray or whatever you wish, whether there are any actual ashes there or not. I like to think that their souls are already in heaven.

You are correct in thinking that POA does expire at death, but that's when the Executor function comes into play and since they are in cahoots....well, maybe you could say the Executor stole her ashes. Now that Mom and Dad are both gone, it is up to you whether to continue any relationship with your siblings. I would hope that you would be able to grieve together for her loss and put ill feelings behind you. Stuff like that just continues to eat at you if you let it.

Please find a grief support group and attend a few meetings. It might help you to join in with people in the same boat and talk out some of your feelings. I hope that you are able to find peace and acceptance. Please come back here to the forum anytime you wish, let us know how you are faring and perhaps you can help others.
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