BlueEyedGirl is making really good points. Be honest with yourself. Are you, perhaps inadvertently, interfering with her care at the facility? Do you or have you had a relationship or acquaintance with the daughter? If so, was it never good or has it gone south? If yes, question your own participation in the breakdown in communication. If you've never met her, perhaps you could call her or write her a note explaining why you would like to visit with her mother and ask if there is anything you can do to help the mother and daughter right now. Focus less on you being blocked from seeing your friend and more on your friend's welfare. Be aware that it's no picnic to be a POA agent. Don't be the straw that breaks her back.
If your friend is competent than no the daughter can't keep you away. If she has Dementia than the daughter may be able to but I would want to know why. I wish people had visited Mom.
Yes, she can. My mom is in AL and her friends were causing a lot of problems with the staff and trying to convince my mom she needed to be home instead (where no one and them included were not able to take care of her) so the facility told me since i have POA i am allowed to ban them from visiting
Is this a new/recent placement or a short term placement or has she been there for a while/long term? There may be reasons for her keeping you from seeing her mother that you are not aware of. Countrymouse makes lots of good suggestions and I'd like to add a few.
If this is a new/recent placement - most places for long term care generally request that even close family give new residents time to adjust before visiting - and if there are new issues for the resident who have been there long term they may ask for a renewed time of fewer or no visits to allow a cooling off period.
If this is short term rehab placement it is possible that your visits are interfering with her rehabilitation - perhaps your arrivals are poorly timed with meals or rehab sessions?
If she is there for longer term, have you been clearing your visits with her daughter or just showing up? Perhaps your visits are causing issues that you are not aware of. My FIL, even though he is being cared for in his home, has one friend who he will share things with via phone, and when he gets off of those calls he will have reactions that are not fun to deal with. (This person riles him up considerably). Perhaps the conversations that you have with your friend incite issues with her after you leave and you don't realize it?
If you are arriving at inopportune times, arriving during times in which visitors are discouraged, your visits are potentially causing issues for the facility or even her daughter it is entirely possible that she could block you from seeing her mother.
You don't mention whether your friend has dementia or AZ or any memory issues, but this could contribute greatly to the issue of visitors. You may not even realize it, but it is entirely possible that after your visits, her mother is agitated or upset and wishes to go "home". If that is the case, then I can see why she might wish to limit the visits.
I don't know if this is a good idea or not, I suppose it would depend on whether you think you can talk to her - since you mention that she wanted to get a restraining order and her mother wouldn't sign it. Is there any potential to talk the daughter and ask why she has restricted visits? To be honest....the wish to get a restraining order sounds pretty strong to me - when she could just restrict your access to her at the facility - and I have to ask why she might need to even consider going that additional step? Is there some reason she would believe such a strong reaction might be necessary on her part to keep you away from her mother?
If: Your friend is unable to make decisions for herself (about who she wants to see, in this case) Your visits are not in your friend's best interests Your visits cause your friend distress or are damaging to her in some other way There is no other way to prevent the harm The harm is potentially such that preventing you from visiting is a proportionate solution
Then yes she can. What's the problem with your visiting? What does the POA daughter think you and her mother are getting up to?
The daughter can't "create" a restraining order anyway, she can only apply to a court for one, and she doesn't need her mother to sign any such application or submission if she can demonstrate that the order would be justified.
Are you sure that your friend isn't saying one thing to you and the opposite to her daughter?
Are you running into confrontations with the rehab staff, too?
Yes, she can prevent you from seeing her mother.
Be respectful of her decision, and perhaps you can visit when she goes home. If daughter says no, then that's it.
What are her reasons?
If this is a new/recent placement - most places for long term care generally request that even close family give new residents time to adjust before visiting - and if there are new issues for the resident who have been there long term they may ask for a renewed time of fewer or no visits to allow a cooling off period.
If this is short term rehab placement it is possible that your visits are interfering with her rehabilitation - perhaps your arrivals are poorly timed with meals or rehab sessions?
If she is there for longer term, have you been clearing your visits with her daughter or just showing up? Perhaps your visits are causing issues that you are not aware of. My FIL, even though he is being cared for in his home, has one friend who he will share things with via phone, and when he gets off of those calls he will have reactions that are not fun to deal with. (This person riles him up considerably). Perhaps the conversations that you have with your friend incite issues with her after you leave and you don't realize it?
If you are arriving at inopportune times, arriving during times in which visitors are discouraged, your visits are potentially causing issues for the facility or even her daughter it is entirely possible that she could block you from seeing her mother.
You don't mention whether your friend has dementia or AZ or any memory issues, but this could contribute greatly to the issue of visitors. You may not even realize it, but it is entirely possible that after your visits, her mother is agitated or upset and wishes to go "home". If that is the case, then I can see why she might wish to limit the visits.
I don't know if this is a good idea or not, I suppose it would depend on whether you think you can talk to her - since you mention that she wanted to get a restraining order and her mother wouldn't sign it. Is there any potential to talk the daughter and ask why she has restricted visits? To be honest....the wish to get a restraining order sounds pretty strong to me - when she could just restrict your access to her at the facility - and I have to ask why she might need to even consider going that additional step? Is there some reason she would believe such a strong reaction might be necessary on her part to keep you away from her mother?
Your friend is unable to make decisions for herself (about who she wants to see, in this case)
Your visits are not in your friend's best interests
Your visits cause your friend distress or are damaging to her in some other way
There is no other way to prevent the harm
The harm is potentially such that preventing you from visiting is a proportionate solution
Then yes she can. What's the problem with your visiting? What does the POA daughter think you and her mother are getting up to?
The daughter can't "create" a restraining order anyway, she can only apply to a court for one, and she doesn't need her mother to sign any such application or submission if she can demonstrate that the order would be justified.
Are you sure that your friend isn't saying one thing to you and the opposite to her daughter?
Are you running into confrontations with the rehab staff, too?