Mom has had a change of heart. I can now be included on POA information, included in information only her son was trusted with. Why?

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Mom diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer. After years of disrespect, dysfunction, hurt and being made the scapegoat of the family, now mom has had a change of heart. I can now be included on POA information, included in information only her son was trusted with. Why? Because I am retired and my brother and family are not. And they need some one to come in and take over the work.

I know this sounds awful but I just want to run. I will be traveling to visit mom this week after not seeing her for five years. Part of putting up boarders. I feel as if no one understand how I feel and I do feel sorry for her. She is pitiful.

But I would love to hear from some of you who have been abused and left out and at the 11th hour expected to come and joint the family because they need you. What do I do?

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So sad, Palm. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Thank you all. Yes, give her a chance but remember past behavior predicts future behavior. Hard to change old habits.

She has less than 6 months. It is stage 3 and no treatment recommended. Just hospice, sad.
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Palm, I went back and read some of your posts from past years. You certainly have loads of issues with trust, abuse etc with your family. You have put up boundaries by staying away.

Have you sought any therapy to deal with these issues? Because if you haven't learned new strategies to deal with their behavior and the feelings that those behaviors bring up, you'll be right back in the stew.

Are you sure that you are being asked to visit solely to be "live in help"? Are you sure this isn't an olive branch? I hate to miss the opportunity to mend fences, even at this late date.
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You go. You help. You keep your guard up, though. You walk out if it gets abusive and someone wants to open old wounds. Never miss a chance to build bridges.
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Palm, what do you want to do? I know and understand there must be alot of hurt. Pancreatic cancer will kill your Mom. After she is gone how would you feel if you are not available? How long does she have? It is normally very short lived. Maybe Mom is sorry for all of it. If it were me I would give her a chance, but ready to run.
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