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5 years ago I bought a home with my mom. She only lived in it for 1 year then my sister put her in an assisted living facility. My sister has power of attorney and is on all her financial accounts. My sister has helped herself to some of my mom's money. Now my mom is out of money. First I offered to buy my mom out. Everyone agreed on the amount-then my sister changed her mind. Now I plan on getting married and offered to sell the home. My sister got mad because I shared some nasty emails she sent to me. Now she says I need to deal with mom and she is dropping her off next month to live with me -since it is her home. I work full time and I have a roommate. What rights do I have?

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Tell your Sister you will now be forcing sale of the home.
In so far as I understand, you can force the sale of a home jointly owned. That is to say, when two people own a home together, any one of them can force a sale. That would be the wiser course here, now you are marrying. If your Sister has embezzled money while serving as POA for her mother then APS should have been called; I don't know if it is too late.
You need a lawyer now to ascertain the laws of your state regarding sale of real property and as it pertains to you and your Mom.
Good luck.

https://www.tdd-law.com/blog/how-force-sale-when-other-people-share-ownership-house/
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Move.
Sell the house.
Never mix money & family again.
Report sister to authorities for potential financial elder abuse. Leave it with them.
Be a visitor for your Mom.

Your Mom may part own the house but this does not mean she or her POA can demand you become Mom's hand's-on carer.

Sounds like angry talk from your sister. Some crazy solution she came up because she's spent the AL fees? Stay out of her drama. Let her deal with the consequences of her actions.
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Sarah3 Dec 7, 2020
This advice demonstrates how the idea of family with some means little to nothing. I suppose in some circles the thought seems to be “why unite in love and care for each other in my family when I can sling accusations, however loosely based in reality- facts? Meh,... who needs them- just hire lawyers and get as much $ from parents as can get hands on”. So sad

I’ll be a dissenting voice in this and propose a radical notion. Talk to your sister, extend a gesture of kindness and concern and ask to make a time to talk things over with her. Get her side on things and hear her out. Then you can do likewise. Listen with sibling love and concern to each other. Siblings are the one subset that has the longest shared common history more than any other. That’s important. On ones death bed money and deeds and whether one “won” or not is not what folks think of. Take a caring humane open minded approach and perhaps you’ll find more in common than you realized or wanted to realize. Stuff that money can’t buy,... a radical idea but a worthy one that while it doesn’t work if only one side is invested in truth and authenticity yet you won’t know til you try. Worse case is it doesn’t work out and then you can approach it in a more business style fashion but at least you’ll have done a good noble thing you can say you did on your end. What I’m trying to convey is grief at how family ties in this society are devalued over $ and power and who has a right to what. When in reality those things are passing and more often than not once you have them lose their luster and pale in comparison to true family love and relationships that is what when it works it’s worth more than it’s weight in gold
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Where is your mother living at the moment? Still at the ALF?

What did your sister change her mind about? The price?

Selling the house: whether or not you can sell it without your co-owner's agreement may depend on what the terms were on which you bought it. Anything in writing about that?

If your mother is unable to act, the other co-signatory may be your sister if the POA includes the authority to dispose of real property on your mother's behalf. What does it say in the documentation?

You allege that your sister has taken money from your mother. That is an extremely serious allegation, of an abuse of POA and financial abuse of a vulnerable elder by a person in a position of trust. So I hope you can prove it.

What this all boils down to is the original falling out between you and your sister. What happened, and how might it be resolved?

On the face of it, selling the house and using the funds to continue your mother's living at the ALF where she has been for four years seems the simplest answer and the one most likely to be in your mother's best interests - it ensures continuity of care and environment for her, at least for the time being. How much time would the funds buy your mother, roughly, do you estimate?
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Floridacrazy Dec 8, 2020
My sister changed her mind because I think my sister is afraid my mom will not qualify for Medicaid. My sister has mixed up all her money and my mom's money. My sister would like me to refinance the house and get $50000 cash out of it(making my mortgage payment larger). Then she wants me to pay $2000 a month towards my mom's expenses until I use all the money or my mom gets on Medicaid. If my mom doesn't get on Medicaid then I think my sister would want me to sell. The way the deed is written I will get 1/2 and my mom would get the other 1/2 of the sale of the home.
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I would file a complaint with APS for financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior.

This will make your sister have to account for mom's money.

If mom is in need of care, you can also tell APS that your sister is threatening to abandon your mom at your home. It doesn't matter who owns a house, they can't just come and go as an owner. Imagine if that was the case, people would end up with their landlords parent or some such craziness.

I would put it in writing that your mom can not move into the house and then file the complaint.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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rovana Dec 7, 2020
But as OP said, mom owns 1/2 half of the house. She can't move into her own house? Since when?
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Not sure what the back and forth is about but OP hasn't been back since Tuesday. Guess she has the info she needs.
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Countrymouse Dec 12, 2020
Let's hope so!

Sigh.
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If you are half owner of the property you can force the sale.
I think the first thing you should do would be to contact a lawyer that can give you the correct info. Either one that deals with real estate or an elder care attorney.
And I also agree that your sister should be reported for stealing money.
APS, Area Agency on Aging would be a place to start.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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rovana Dec 7, 2020
We really don't know that sis stole money - if she is POA she could be paying mom's legitimate bills, like for AL. Need more info here IMO.
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Speak to an administrator at the AL your mom currently lives in and explain what your sister is threatening to do. You also have renter's rights (renter's rights apply to people even if they don't pay rent where they live). Your mother might own the house but you are a tenant and as a tenant you have rights too. When a person moves into a rented apartment, the landlord can't just let themselves in. They can't just take up residence in a tenant's apartment then demand they become their caregiver because they own the property the tenant resides in.
Your sister sounds like the classic alpha-female using intimidation tactics because she's sure you'll fold out of fear of her and become the caregiver to your mom. Please excuse me if I speak plainly. I say call that bitch's bluff. She will have to formally evict you from the home you live in. That means go to court and get a sheriff to serve you with eviction papers. If she plans on dropping mom off next month, let her know now that if she does you will put mom in the car and drop her off at the ER in your town's hospital, because you've made it clear that you will not be her caregiver. What happens then is your sister gets in trouble because as her POA she's responsible for your mom's welfare and for finding accommodations for her.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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rovana Dec 7, 2020
Not sure that POA IS responsible for caregiving. Has mom been declared incompetent? POA is NOT the same as guardian.
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Why are you saying your sister took your mom's funds? Do you know that for a fact or could she possibly be a paid POA? That brings me to my second point, are you giving half the rental income monthly to your mom minus her portion of upkeep and property taxes? If not, you are misusing mom's money also. So, do you really want to open that can of financial abuse worms?

Talk to a lawyer and apply for guardianship.
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Reply to Stacy0122
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Florida,

One more word of advice!

Don't waste your time responding to people on this site that are flat out rude!!

You most certainly can take there advice into consideration, but some people just like to stir the pot and you won't get anywhere.

Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk!
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Reply to xrayjodib
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Wish people would avoid knee jerk reactionary comments and just walk away.
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haileybug Dec 12, 2020
gladimhere

Thank you so much for this good advice. Such a great reminder for myself.

Again, thank you for good advice.
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