Anita , family members can be so rude to each other. When adult Care and facility along with everything. Personally Anita I understand your concern, step back for a week. Let it go quite asking. Eventually information of o All types will reveal. Headed information anyone family member hard to take . If you feeling unease next time over house go bathroom check medicine cabinet ( yes Snoopy) Or they want t You to stay while they do something do so . Get your cell phone ready take photographs of labels of medicine. Check all areas quickly. Once coast is cleared. And anything else. Don't move medicine from its locations. Take photos where they at only turn them to photo. This may seems devious but some answers will clear your mind and look up.
You can try to communicate to your sister that you would like a copy of the POA document. OR, simply go confer with an Elder Law Attorney, explain the situation and, let her get a letter from an attorney to present a copy of the document. And,then go from there. Of course lawyering up costs money but it may also save you money and sanity ; also retaining an attorney may usually escalate the other party's anger or inflame relationships. Unfortunately family dynamics do not always allow friendly consideration and communication for all members; if someone has a valid POA assigned the POA needs to be able to appropriately communicate respectfully with the family. It does not sound like this is the case. The sister with the POA status may have control issues, grief issues, other anger issues, competitive tendencies, ....the list could go on and on. These types of emotions usually limit someones ability to function appropriately in relationships. If your mother is possibly on hospice care, you can try conferring with the RN case manager or the social worker assigned. Do not be bullied by the sister/ POA. It is not healthy for you nor your mother.
Yes, if has POA for medical affairs. Ask for copies of POA for financial and medical affairs. Contact lawyer who wrote up these documents - or your lawyer - to make sure they are legal. If document is dated at a time your loved one already had documented mental/cognitive decline, it might not be legal.
Go into your Mothers medicine cabinet and look or if your visiting ask her or a nurse . You can also tell your sister you want a copy of this document - you have a right to know it’s your Mother .
KNance72, unfortunately the PoA has no legal obligation to present those docs to anyone questioning them, and no one else has any legal "right" to know. If someone questions whether a person actually has PoA they will need to go to an attorney who will write a letter letting them know that if they don't present the docs, that they will have the court force them to show them. And I'm not sure but the questioner may have to give valid reasons and proofs for their insistance to see them.
Your mom may have already given you the right to know. Check with each of her doctor’s offices.
Unless you think your mom is not getting proper treatment, why do you need to know?
like many have written below, if she is getting proper care, don’t stress yourself out unnecessarily. Having this job can be very emotionally weighing.
Unless mom has dementia and sister can prove she has POA, mom can sign a form to release medical information to you. Ask the dr’s office for the form. I don’t know if a notary is required or if they’d accept a cell phone video of mom signing or they just want her signature.
You kind of have to ask yourself if you REALLY want to know all this.
My DH has kept his head firmly planted in the sand over his mother's health issues and even when faced with them--he ignores or minimizes the issues at hand. ANd he IS the POA and doesn't want to be and doesn't 'use' it.
Sometimes knowing nothing is the better choice. Now, if you think the PoAM is not doing their job, then, yes, you can approach them for answers.
My YB kept my mom's health issues a state secret. IDK why, b/c mom would tell us all everything anyway--but he felt like he had more power or something.
He had Medical PoA and other YB had FPoA and we girls had nothing.
IMO, if you have to have a MPOA on file with doctors and hospitals then the one who has it needs to prove they have the document to family. I don't see what the big deal is. My brothers knew I was POA because Mom told them. But I would have no problem showing them the documents that show I was assigned. To me, if they can't show the documents, they don't have them.
But, I would not have to share the principles medical info with them. My Mom was very open about her health problems. Because of this I felt I could discuss her health with my brother's. But some people are very private and do not want people to know about their health problems.
I agree with the others; leave it to your sister. And do realize how very fortunate you are not to have to deal with this hard, unpleasant job. Just be glad it is her headache, not yours!
The physicians involved will tell you who they are able to share information with in the family. It is usually the person that is designated by the patient him or herself, and/or who hold the MPOA or the advance directive. They will not share information with others. That MPOA is bound by the wishes of the patient as they understand them and should not willy nilly give out information. In a close family however, it is more the norm to form a sort of phone tree for family in which the family member who is POA tells one more person and that person calls the next in line and so on. In that way involved family can be informed of general condition, planned tests, diagnosis and prognosis. But to answer the question, the MPOA does not legally have to discuss anyone's private medical information with anyone else, according to their best judgement.
If you are concerned that your Mother isn't receiving good care you can tell the sibling that unless they reveal the PoA document itself to prove they have the medical authority, that you will take it to an attorney who will make them show it in court. Right now they don't have to show you, but if you are concerned for your Mom's welbeing then this is the only path you can take.
Hopefully you're not just trying to micro-manage the situation because you're used to being in the loop and are offended that now you're not. Sometimes there is a reason why info isn't shared with others. Please consider this before you cause more work for your sibling.
All types will reveal. Headed information anyone family member hard to take . If you feeling unease next time over house go bathroom check medicine cabinet ( yes Snoopy)
Or they want t
You to stay while they do something do so .
Get your cell phone ready take photographs of labels of medicine.
Check all areas quickly. Once coast is cleared. And anything else. Don't move medicine from its locations. Take photos where they at only turn them to photo.
This may seems devious but some answers will clear your mind and look up.
The sister with the POA status may have control issues, grief issues, other anger issues, competitive tendencies, ....the list could go on and on. These types of emotions usually limit someones ability to function appropriately in relationships.
If your mother is possibly on hospice care, you can try conferring with the RN case manager or the social worker assigned.
Do not be bullied by the sister/ POA. It is not healthy for you nor your mother.
Unless you think your mom is not getting proper treatment, why do you need to know?
like many have written below, if she is getting proper care, don’t stress yourself out unnecessarily. Having this job can be very emotionally weighing.
My DH has kept his head firmly planted in the sand over his mother's health issues and even when faced with them--he ignores or minimizes the issues at hand. ANd he IS the POA and doesn't want to be and doesn't 'use' it.
Sometimes knowing nothing is the better choice.
Now, if you think the PoAM is not doing their job, then, yes, you can approach them for answers.
My YB kept my mom's health issues a state secret. IDK why, b/c mom would tell us all everything anyway--but he felt like he had more power or something.
He had Medical PoA and other YB had FPoA and we girls had nothing.
But, I would not have to share the principles medical info with them. My Mom was very open about her health problems. Because of this I felt I could discuss her health with my brother's. But some people are very private and do not want people to know about their health problems.
Hopefully you're not just trying to micro-manage the situation because you're used to being in the loop and are offended that now you're not. Sometimes there is a reason why info isn't shared with others. Please consider this before you cause more work for your sibling.