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The serviceman/Vet had to be on active duty during a war -- but that does not mean that they served in a War zone. My dad was a sergeant in the Army Air Corp -- and served as a bookkeeper in New Mex during WW II That was enough for my mom to qualified.
But, you have to have his actual discharge papers. If you don't have those, the VA has to look for them or re-create them. In my dad's case, as with most WW II veterans, his records had burned in the disastrous fire at the National Personnel Records Center (NPRC) that destroyed approximately 16-18 million Official Military Personnel Files (OMPF). 80% of the records of Army personnel discharged prior to 1960 burned.
So, then, it took VA 8 months to recreate Dad's records, and then they denied mom benefits because the staff is incompetent -- they claimed we had filed based on disability rather than the VA Aid & Dependent's pension, even though it was clearly marked. (The backstory is that VA does not like to give these benefits to widows. I mean, there's the old story that if the military wanted a vet to have a wife, they would have issued them one.)
So then, on the advice of others, I contacted my representatives in Congress -- filled out some form on line -- and you know what -- within TWO DAYS, we were notified that Mom's application -- which they wrongfully claimed we had just filed the day I contacted the rep -- had been granted. Woo hoo! $1,000 per month. But, they have not granted backpay.
Oh, and there is an asset test as well. It's not actually spelled out anywhere that i have found. And, you have to have a doctor's statement for the need for daily assistance.
All in all, it's very hard to get -- but well worth it, if your LO qualifies.
You can contact a local, county VA office, generally affiliated with or functioning as part of a local government. Same situation with state VA offices. Or you can call the VA directly, or call American Legion and/or VFW offices and ask which ones have veteran advisors.
There's yet another way: contact the VA Caregiver department. I spoke at length with them sometime ago and obtained guidance and good information.
caregiver.va.gov/ or google VA, then caregiver resources. Then click on this link on the VA Caregiver Resources webpage: "For Caregivers Only - Geriatrics and Extended Care".
Good luck.