Can my mother pass away at home?

This post is from June 22, 2022. I'm guessing the Op's mother has long passed by now.

When hospice came to evaluate mom, when I had questions the hospice nurse said that mom's doctor should have explained hospice to us. Well, that hadn't happened. The hospice nurse seemed put off to have to explain things. We didn't hire that hospice company. Point being that the op's hospice may not have been thorough. It happened to me.

A nurse coming every two weeks is unacceptable. One time a week at least. I hope you are getting an aide. I think its time for Hospice to be there more often now. They should be taking you thru what Moms last days are going to be like and what to expect. Mom will get Morphine, if she does not already have it. This will help with any pain and ease breathing. She will be kept as comfortable as possible. Mom cannot be taken to the Hospital. No extreme measures are taken once on Hospice. When Mom passes, the nurse will come and take care of Mom, and take back any meds given. She will then call your Funeral Home listed and have them pick up Mom. The Nurse should be available 24/7 by phone. If this Hospice cannot be there more often, u may want to try another. Also, be aware that someone will need to be there 24/7 if Mom is in her own home.

Hospice should have already given you instructions as to procedure. Call them and ask these questions.

Yes, your mother can die at home.

However, they should not be kept in their bedrooms but placed in the main living area as it helps them keep connected with loved ones, and helps keep them peaceful. Some times palliative medications can affect their perceptions when they wake up from sleep and cause some confusion.

So if it is possible, the dying person many times loves being in the presence of others, of life, and others going and out, and loving the pets and lovely bouquet of flowers.

Being with others reduces pain and sense of loss. It is so important to carry mother with love and joy and happiness on her journey. They may often enjoy listening to their favorite music, or other times silence and loving touches. Sometimes they get hot and need help to get cooler or other times, they get cold and need to be covered. Swabbing their mouth helps prevent any dryness, or turning and arranging pillows can help, just ask.

Family members can learn instructions when to dose, when she has a change of condition, or needs more comfort care. Hospice leaves their number and always gets back promptly or sends a nurse over as soon as possible to adjust within so many hours, and advise over the phone in the meantime.

just know that family members as well as your mother will be supported.

Wynter, please reach out to your mom's hospice provider and let them know that in the past few days mom has taken a bad turn. If no one has notified them, they have no way of knowing. They can ensure that mom is not in any sort of discomfort.

I'm very sorry that you and mom are going through this. (((hugs)))

Yes, let hospice know, but this is not only the right of your Mom, it is the presumption when she has hospice that she passes at home if that is her wish. I wish you both good luck. If your Mom has any pain or distress hospice should now be visiting more. They are getting a hefty fee from medicare and they need now to have a nurse there for medication needs more than every two weeks.
Do not call ambulance. Your mom's choice to get hospice means that no testing or treatment is necessary or wanted.
I agree with MJ and am APPALLED that your hospice has not only left you with no instructions, but with such shoddy RN coverage; as I said, they are well paid by medicare.

How on earth do people's parents end up on hospice and the immediate family has no idea how it works?

Both my parents were on hospice (one at home and one in memory care), and both hospice companies were exhaustive in their explanations of how it worked, what I was to do, and what they do.

Are there really hospice companies that don't do this, or are people not paying attention at all during the conversations?

My mother wanted to pass away at my home. Hospice made it possible, they are the people to talk to. Our hospice service was very professional, caring and everything went very smoothly. They were affiliated with the hospital treating my mother for end stage cancer.
Mom passed as she wanted, quietly, in no pain, suffering or distress at all.

Hospice should be coming in a lot more frequently now that your mom has taken a turn for the worse. She can definitely pass away at home, which is why you have hospice on board to begin with. Call the nurse & let her know what's happening, and she'll guide you accordingly. Request that she come by the house asap to assess your mom and to give you her opinion as to how much more time she has left. Hopefully you have comfort meds on hand to administer to mom as needed?

I know how difficult this time is for you; sending you a hug and a prayer for a painless and easy transition for your dear mom. And for God to help you process the whole transition.

When I signed hospice papers for my DH aunt, I was left a packet of papers. In addition to calling her nurse and/or social worker, now might be the time you would like to go over any paperwork you were provided. If you keep your notes and updates there, it might bring you a degree of comfort to know you have all your instructions at hand should you want to remind yourself or discuss with hospice for clarity.

Yes, she can pass away at home. Call the hospice nurse, she will be able to talk you through what you need to do.