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I’m wondering if even though I’m my mom’s POA, and now that she knows her house is going to be taken by the RM bank pretty soon, can my mom demand that they release her so she can go back to her house?


According to the RM contract, she has up until 12 months of not living in her house for the loan to be called in.


My mom was admitted to rehab in Feb of this year, did the 3 months of physical therapy which didn’t improve her physical status, got diagnosed w/dementia, terminal cancer & was advised to have 24hr skilled nursing so they admitted her to the NH part of the facility as of May 1.


So technically she’s only been gone from her house since Feb & that isn’t 12 months, but given the reasoning that my mom is in hospice now, her time is limited.


My question is could my mom ask the NH to let her back to her house to die?


But they would have to know that the house is inhabitable now (I’ve sold most of the furniture & appliances), all that’s there is mom’s bed & a dresser.


Plus she’d be completely alone again like how she was the last time she fell in Feb.


She doesn’t have the funds to hire live in nurses.


But as a legal issue, is the NH bound by any kind of “protective service” for the elderly?


Meaning the patients right to leave is over ruled by a medical doctors diagnosis that they can no longer care for themselves, so they can just allow her to leave the facility & go home to an empty house..

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You need to look at the amount of time necessary to be by her side and have to make a decision to have someone come in to watch over when not around. Make a personal observation of stages given the conditions of what you think and come up with your own decision. With regards to hospice has a idea already given the time and condition. They will probably recommend that you have additional help to come in. Hospice won’t be in a position to be there 24/7 at the house 7 days a week
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Reply to Cmcare
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If the recommendation is 24/7 supervision, it wouldn’t be AMA if you are able to provide 24/7 supervision and care. If you can, what equipment does she need? Will she have those equipment if she returns home? Would she qualify for in-home Hospice? Hospice may be able to provid equipment, however like someone else said, they won’t be able to provide 24/7 supervision and care...
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Reply to JustCaring
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& also, I forgot to add: since you’re poa, you decide for her!
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Reply to CaregiverL
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I took my mother home after discharged her from NH but I bought equipment out of pocket to help transfer her. She has dementia & is Home 16 months. Today she said she wants to go “Home” Even though she is in her own house! No, she wants to go home to the house she grew up in....so I told her maybe the new owner of your old apartment will take you in !
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Your mom wants to go home to die. Does she know that most of the house is unfurnished due to your selling of the furniture etc? She has dementia....going 'home' doesn't necessarily mean the last house she lived in....has she seen the unfurnished house? what do you think her reaction will be when she walks in and finds most of her stuff gone? I think my mom (died after a long battle with Alz.) would have been majorly upset. I'm thinking that it would be best for her to stay in hospice care and spare her the upset of seeing an empty house. Asking to go home to die, is to go back to her home with all of her stuff in it, the way she sees it in her mind....not the way it is currently....save her the pain and upset. Blessings to you both, Lindaz.
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YOU, as her POA, are the one to make the decisions. Is she well enough to return home, even though she wants to die there? Who knows the time limit on her death? Who would take care of her at her home? She would need 24/7 medical professional care.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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No matter the home is going to need to be sold to pay off that RM. They don't take the house, they want their money. As other's have said the NH social worker would need to make sure that she would be cared for and that the home is hospitable. If she goes AMA then it would need to be referred to APS and she still wouldn't be able to move back home without furnishings and the care givers she needs. I'm afraid she is between a rock and a hard place. The best thing to do at this point would be to sell the home, repay what is owed on the RM and if anything is left use it toward her care or repaying Medicaid. After she passes the POA goes away and a court appointed executor will need to be named by probate and will need to sell the home and do all this anyways. It will be a lot more complicated at that point.
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Hangingon61 Aug 2, 2018
No there’s no probate gonna happen because the house is in a trust.
I got 2 estimates on what it will sell for & they are both too low.
House is underwater so I’m not doing anything w/it combined w/the fact that RM is basically making it impossible for me to act as my mom’s financial POA (even though I have the document, part of her will that says I am), so they can just do what they need to do w/out mine or my mom’s participation.
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If she is terminal, and does not have funds for 24/7 care, then she can't safely return home. Hospice service in the home is only a few hours a week. When a patient receives hospice at home, it is understood that others will provide support, particularly when the patient is not ambulatory. Before a patient is discharged, the rehab/nursing home should do a site visit with the patient to determine if discharge is recommended and what safety measures are necessary. With the reverse mortgage, she has obviously done everything in her power to remain in her home and be self-sufficient for as long as possible. Although reverse mortgages are terrible (they are crooks), sometimes it is the only option left for an elderly person with limited income and frankly, in response to marte48, I wouldn't judge, particularly if the person wants to stay in the home. My parents obtained one in order to live in the house that my dad built for most of the remainder of their lives. Here are my questions. Is your mother well enough to take out of facility for an afternoon? How well does she do on outings? (Outings can encourage activity leading to improvement in function plus it gives you a realistic view of their care needs.) And last, why did you sell most of her furniture when she hasn't reached that 12 month mark nor passed away?
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Hangingon61 Aug 2, 2018
I had to sell the contents of her house once she was admitted to the NH & they started taking her income. The house utilities had to be turned off & stopped & couldn’t be paid anymore so basically the house is being supported when nobody is going to live there?
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Who advised your mother to get a reverse mortgage? the TV?
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Hangingon61 Aug 2, 2018
My mom got the reverse mortgage after my past away.
He accrued a lot of debts that needed to be paid & since she had no job, a home equity loan wasn’t an option.
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If you are actively working as Mom's POA, she can't legally make decisions now for herself. This is the time when you step up and act in your mom's best interests, whether she's happy about that or not, well, I imagine very few people are happy to hand over the reins of their daily independent thinking to anyone else.

Also, if she's in Hospice, then she probably has only few months to live, While SHE'D likely want that to be in the comfort of her own home, we often see happen what's happening, happen to your mom.

Let Hospice do their part, encourage the last few months of mom's life to be as stress free and possible. Without your support, she really can't facilitate anything to happen. I hope she doesn't cast you as the villian in all this.
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rovana Jul 29, 2018
As long as mom has not been declared legally incompetent (process and criteria vary by state) she is free to make her own decisions which would trump POA - POA is not same as guardianship.  However, can she actually "make it happen" without your help? You are perfectly free to refuse to help.
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NH social worker has to make sure home discharge is safe and reasonable. However, pt can leave AMA, but not if has DX dementia. People with dementia cannot make reasonable and safe decisions.
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Reply to drooney
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With Dementia Mom can't make an informed decisions. This is where your POA comes in. Hospice in the home is not 24/7. You or someone would have to be there 24/7. Hospice wilkvsend an aide but the nurse only comes a few times a week. On call the rest of the time. With Dementia they always want to go home. That doesn't mean its the last home they lived in, could be her childhood home. My opinion, leave her where she is.

Is she private pay or Medicaid. If Medicaid did u explain the RM on Moms house? Medicaid is going to want to recoup the money they pay out for her care.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Hangingon61 Jul 27, 2018
Joann a RM is not considered income but a loan according to Medicaid.
So it doesn’t affect a person’s ability to qualify for Medicaid.
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Before the NH discharged mom, they would generally send someone to assess her home to find out if it is a "safe discharge". It sounds as though the house would not meet criteria for being habitable. Also, since there would be no one on sight to give her care, she wouldn't be eligible for discharge.
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rovana Jul 29, 2018
Barb, you are right but if she is physically able to orchestrate her "escape"  (and is not an involuntary commitment) can't she just up and go?
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I'm sorry your Mom is in this predicament.
I'm not a lawyer but I believe she is no longer capable of making her own decisions due to the dementia. You are her POA so you would be responsible for her wellbeing. Moving her into a house with no appliances or furniture and no one to stay with her is unrealistic.

I understand she wants to save the house from being repo'd but at what cost to her safety and comfort?

You could contact an elder law attorney (they have listings at your local Senior Center for low cost or donation only lawyers.)

Good luck. I'm sorry for your Mom's condition.
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