So I'm asking a question for my husband and his sister! Their mother passed away January 11th 2022, she was sick and was in hospital when she passed. my husbands mom had my husband put on her papers at the hospital so if an emergency only he would be contacted so when he passed he was the one that received the call. So he was informing family and such, well to make a long story short he reached out to his aunt, mind you his mothers family was never there for his mother at all but his mother always told him "if something happens to me call your aunt" so he called her to ask questions like where do I start? what do I do? because he had never had to plan a funeral or anything he was an emotional wreck because his mother just passed. so his aunt calls him and tells him to meet up at a funeral home so he goes and meets her at this funeral home, well the guy that talks to you about everything was going over some prices and such and well pretty much my husband just said we will get back with you, because he didnt have time to talk to his sister or think about anything because his aunt rushed him down there less than 12 hours after his mother passed. and he didnt really know what was going on at the time. him nor his sister wanted to have her funeral at the funeral home where his aunt told him to meet her which was an our from home. My husband and his sister wanted to have there mothers funeral close to home because that is what mom wanted. So the aunt calls him after the son and his sister done told her that they wanted the funeral where mom said she wanted it and was telling them that someone donated and done paid for it there and that they need the son and daughter to come sign the blank check so they could go on with the funeral arrangements. Well him and his sister said no we are not coming to sign the check we done told you that we are not having the funeral there. mom wanted to have arrangements close to home and wanted to be cremated. So anyways we found out today that apparently there is a set funeral date and an obituary up and the whole nine yards without the Son and Daughter knowing or signing anything! how can they just do that? are they aloud to just do that?
his aunt which is the mother sister was not even around for many many years her and his mom didnt even speak to each other. My husband has took care of his mother. But my husband is really hurt and reaching out to a lawyer and everything because they jus pop up and take over and him and his sister dont understand how they can do that when the aunt was just begging for him and his sister to come sign the blank check that was donated for whatever the cost for the funeral so they could go on with the funeral... And they didnt go sign it because they didnt want it at that funeral home and was working on getting it where she wanted it done.
If your age is correct, this is a new experience for you. Since everything is in the works, I think you just need to let it continue. Seems without Aunt, you would have had to pay. Cremation itself can cost over $2000. If you want anything, like a luncheon, that comes out of your pocket if Mom had no money. Like polar says, thank the Aunt. Seems Mom wanted her involved and maybe because she knew she was a take charge person.
It really doesn't matter where she is buried. She is gone. If she believed in Heaven then also believe she has left her earthly life behind and her soul is experiencing a much better one. Earth time and Gods time do not move at the same pace.
The aunt took the cue from the son that he needed help with planning. She went ahead and did way more than that. She had the whole thing planned and paid for. That is very generous and nice of her. And it should be recognized and appreciated.
The wrinkle is the location of the funeral home, and burial vs. cremation that is different from the mom's wishes.
I think son and daughter should try to work with aunt as a team to make the necessary changes. Call aunt and thank her profusely for her generosity and effort in making the arrangement, then tell her gently what the mom's wishes are. Ask her what to do to make the changes. She seems very knowledgeable. She just might know how to navigate this. Funeral homes can work with one another to satisfy the clients. If both places are under same ownership, that would be an easy fix.
The last thing the mom wanted was for her sister and children to have a big fight over her dead body. Literally.
Contacting your states attorney general office can guide you on how to stop this situation.
I am assuming that the check was made payable to your husband and SIL and they were looking for an endorsement signature that signs it over to the funeral home. I would request a copy front and back of that check to verify if any fraud has been committed.
I am sorry for your families loss and I pray that this situation gets dealt with before mom is interned.
Unfortunately, there might not be much your husband CAN do at this point, especially if the funeral home has started preparations on his mom. At the very least, that funeral home is going to expect to be paid for the work they've already done; and if your husband moves his mom elsewhere, whoever so graciously gave a blank check might very well put a stop payment on said check if the funeral isn't held at the place of their (the donor's) choosing.
I hope your husband and his sister can get a resolution to this that gives them some peace and comfort.
Did Mom have anything in writing as to her final wishes? If not, who was the Power of Attorney while she was alive? Who is now the Executor of the Estate? Did your husband's family already have a plot bought for the Mom?
Who donated the funeral? A blank check? Who is the blank check made out to? And on who's bank account? A blank check cannot be signed by just anyone, the bank needs to have on file who can sign for that account.
Please note, a funeral home will only keep Mom for so many days before they start charging a holding fee. The family needs to decide quickly on what to do. Please do this for Mom.