My father lives with us and we would like to manage his care. My sister is a doctor so he named her POA, she does not want to be his caregiver and would put him in group home. Can he specify that he wants to stay with us, while he has capacity to still request that?
I am fine with sister making decisions with doctors, but I want him to be cared for by us and in our home as long as we are able. Can I make decisions when my sisters can be reached.
Another sister is financial POA.
Even if your father gives (health care/medical) power of attorney to your doctor-sister, she will have responsibility only for making decisions about his care: she will not be responsible for carrying it out in person. The decisions she makes must be in his best interests, but they must ALSO be in line with his known wishes as far as is practicable.
So if your father has made it known that his choice is to live with you and have his care managed by you, and there are no concerns about your ability to meet his needs, your sister should comply with that previously stated choice.
Having said that, if your sister has reservations about the arrangement and believes that your father would do better in a group home, you would be well advised to listen to her reasons. What are they, have you discussed them with her?
Are you proposing to care for you father 24/7 without any help? Without respite?
If you need to hire help, will sister with POA release funds for that? Will she see the need for you to have regular respite? Will dad accept that there will need to be non- family helpers hired to assist with his care?
As your father's dementia worsens, he will almost certainly need to be in a facility. If enters a facility while he is still somewhat cognizant of his surroundings, he may be able to make a better adjustment.
Who is currently caring for him? Why do you want to care for him "by us"? Is there no way to improve the communication with the medical PoA sister? What is the problem?