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Hi again, as some of you know I am planning on retiring in 2021 and moving in to my mothers home to care for her. The problem is however, one of my family members bought the property at home she lives on. They make monthly payments to her. Mom has stated that she wants me to be her caregiver, but this family member has explicitly said they do not want me to do so. I’m not sure why. I have cared for mom before, and helped her and my late dad out when they cared for her parents years ago, so I know what I’m getting into.


Now this same family member is upset because I told Mom something negative they said about her. They now expect me to keep their opinions about Mom secret, while expecting Mom to keep no secrets from any of us and to tell them everything. They think that I am just trying to start trouble and make Mom mad at them when none of this is true. This person is the vindictive Type and has been abusive towards women in the past. They’ve tried to keep it a secret but I have heard stories from some of their victims. This same family member also sees women as inferior. They treat Mom and myself as though we are Unintelligent. This person is an accountant and may have legal knowledge, so I am afraid they may try to find some legal way to stop me from moving in with her.


Even if I do move in, I don’t plan on staying there, but getting my own home and moving Mom in with me. Mom is aware of this and has agreed to it.


Is there anything Mom or I can do to prevent this person from stopping me from moving in? What are her legal rights?

A possible clarification?

You wrote:

"FWIW, I can tell you that the family member (one of my brothers) owns the property, It wouldn't be sold until after mom passes away. She's not paying rent, she pays for all her own expenses. My brother pays her a monthly "payment" to her since he purchased the property. "

I think this is an issue of terminology, but if your brother purchased the property, he doesn't yet entirely own it, and won't until the final payment is made. This makes me wonder if the property was sold on land contract? If so, title would remain in your mother's name, subject to your brother's land contract interest. He's still purchasing the property and will be until the last payment is made.
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Reply to GardenArtist
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FloridaDD May 19, 2020
It depends.  If mom sold to son and took back a mortgage, it may be titled in sons name.    This is not just semantics, and if OP cannot go down to court house to check title, she may want to engage a real estate attorney.   

I don't know what OP means when she says that mom pays all her own expenses.   If OP means mom is paying utilities, that is not indicative that mom owns even a life tenancy.   If mom is paying taxes, that is somewhat unusual unless life tenancy.
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If I’m understanding the situation correctly, mom sold her house to your brother with the understanding she has a life tenancy? Assuming there are no restrictions, I would think she can have anyone live with her if she so decides. Should you decide to move in to help her, Mom needs to put in writing that she’s hiring you as a live-in and that you’re entitled to reimbursement for expenses if appropriate, any hourly wage after upon etc as if you weren’t related. I would strongly advice you contact an elder atty ASAP. Who is moms POA? To an outsider, it sounds like your brother is putting himself into a position of power over your moms affairs financial and otherwise. Do it sooner than later. If mom has a dementia diagnosis, he could claim she’s incompetent even if she’s fully aware of her decisions.
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Reply to Barsenault60
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Who actually owns the property?
like exactly how is property titled & recorded at courthouse right now?
Is your mom just a tenant and there rent free?
or is her “rent” deducted from what they pay her each month?
OR is mom the owner till they pay off the agreement in full?
OR is it a LE / Life Estate but the only beneficiary/ remainderman is your sibling? LEs don’t need a monthly payment to happen for a LE to be done and recorded. So if it’s an LE there’s likely gonna be a separate agreement for monthly payments.... is this what it is?

what exactly are they paying for each month?
& who is keeping track of this?
On the paperwork, who has “securitized interest” in the property?

I’d be very, VERY, very concerned as to what the house sale agreement is for mom getting an unfair part on the agreement/ contract
and for future Medicaid eligibility if it wasn’t sold at fair market value
or
if it is actually a LE as they have Medicaid issues for determining share of asset for eligibility.

Was it drawn up by a real estate atty? And an inspection and appraisal done? Or was this way more casual agreement the buyers did with your mom? Something doesn’t sound right in all this.
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Psalm37v4 May 19, 2020
Hi there and thanx for your reply!

I'll have to get back to you on your questions. I know that according to the contract, there is nothing about having other tenants in the house. If he were to amend it, she'd have to sign off on it (per her). I hope that's right.

FWIW, I can tell you that the family member (one of my brothers) owns the property, It wouldn't be sold until after mom passes away. She's not paying rent, she pays for all her own expenses. My brother pays her a monthly "payment" to her since he purchased the property. (Please note, I may be inadvertently omitting something without realizing it. My communications skills aren't as good as they should be.)
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What does the purchase contract say about tenants?

Does mom have a life estate or ??

That will be the governing document. If it doesn't address that then your mom is free to have anyone she chooses live in her home. Especially if a doctor says that she requires 24/7 care. They would be denying her medical treatment in that circumstance.

I would be careful about what I discuss with your mom, you never know what a broken brain will come up with. Imo.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Psalm37v4 May 18, 2020
I’ll have to see about the life estate and The contract. Mom is more in her right mind than you would think ;)
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