Mom's been in nursing home for over a year and a half, brother has POA, but has only been there 4 times, I've been going several times a week, bought her furniture, clothes, snacks, drinks, paid for her heir to be done, taken her to church, until she not able to go. She's in last stage of dementia, the end is near, brother has been called to make decisions, we don't agree on things he's done financially, so we've not spoke in over 2 yrs. When he saw me with mom, he had administers ask me to leave the room so he could visit, I did, about 15 mins later administrator came outside to tell me my brother was POA and didn't want me there and I was not allowed back on property without something from the courts saying I can be there. I ask for what reason, was told he didn't give one, but he was POA so what he said went. I told administrator I have been visiting mom since she was admitted and brother had only been there 4 times, he said yes, he's seen me there a lot and had never met my brother til that day, but he was POA so what he said went. Can they really keep me away from my mom for no reason except a power trip?

Yes, a fine line and its not fair when a POA uses their authority to punish a sibling. Hiring a lawyer is not cheap.
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Reply to JoAnn29

My POA gives me all the decision making rights of the principle and it most certainly allows me to designate people who cannot visit at hospitals and care facilities. Only a court can change or override those decisions. APS could inquire about my reasons and recommend a court take action but cannot override my decision on its own. Some times APS is willing to see denied visitation as isolating the parent - a form of abuse. In the case of my grandmother, APS told my uncle if he didn't allow his siblings to visit, they would consider that abuse and remove her from his home so we never went to court.

In some cases, like the toxic child, POA limiting visitation is a good thing.

In some cases, like the POA getting even with other siblings, limiting visitation is a terrible thing.
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Reply to TNtechie

I'd call Social Services and file an abuse claim. Have an investigation to require him to explain to the investigator why he's forcing you away from your mother. Does he think you're abusive to your mother and that's why he's trying to protect your mother? Then make him provide proof.

Depending upon the wording of the POA, the POA should be acting on the best interest of the grantor. Unless he has a reason why you must be kept away, then he's not acting in your mother's best interest by keeping her daughter away from her, especially as her end approaches. Good luck.
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Reply to MountainMoose

No, POA is not guardianship and does not grant him that authority, but given that the administrator is siding with him there isn't anything you can do about it except to follow their rules - get a lawyer to write you a letter to that effect.
Since all the staff knows you and in my experience admins rarely leave their offices I imagine that once brother is out of the building nobody will stop you if you continue to visit as usual.
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Reply to cwillie

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