If my brother wants nothing to do with me via phone calls or text can he later claim to adult services or sue the estate saying that I'm blocking his access to mom?

You aren't keeping him from his mother... he is keeping himself from her. If you want to keep texting him the information about your mom, just so he has it, continue to do so. If you don't want to because you don't want him to say nasty things to you, then stop sending it. Your brother could easily block your number if he really doesn't want to hear from you and vise versa. Trust me... my brother did. He hasn't seen his mother in months and doesn't even answer the phone when she calls.

He cannot sue the estate for you not texting him invites or updates on his mother. If he called APS, he would have to explain what the issue is and how your mother is being abused. You not texting or calling him or even keeping him informed is not abuse.

Has he threatened to go to APS? If not why worry about it, that is borrowing trouble.

Keep copies of all the texts that go between the two of you. I had to do that during my divorce and I am glad I did. It was much better for record keeping than phone calls.

If there is information you feel he needs send him an email, put Mum Update in the subject line and print off a copy. It will be up to him to read or not read the email. Keep any emails to the point, but do not ask him questions or expect a reply. Ie:

Subject: Mum Update - Fall on Tuesday,

Body:
Mum fell getting out of bed on Tuesday. We called 911 and she was checked out at Mercy Hospital. Her blood pressure was really low and the doctors suggested the following treatment plan.

Sister

If you do not have email with him, write it in a note and mail it off. Write Mum Update on the outside of the envelope. Once again it is his choice to read or toss. But you can feel that you did your best.

Tothill is right. At this point, you need to defend yourself. You have tried to include your brother and it hasn’t worked. In case of further action on his part, as Tothill advises, keep detailed records of everything and also every receipt whenever you but something for mom. Don’t give him anything to use against you.

I'm not an attorney, but I'm pretty sure you do not have a legal obligation to apprise your brother of anything.

Instead of continuing to try to involve or find a balance with him,, recognize that he's not going to respond, and shift the burden to him. One last e-mail or text, and be sure to save it to offline storage. Take a different tact as well.

Instead of trying to remind him of Mom's activities, or get him involved, tell him you respect that he doesn't want to be appraised of everything, but:

(1) if there are specific concerns he has (such as a fall, hospitalization, drastic change in her condition), let you know what these are and you'll keep him informed. And

(2) Unless you hear from otherwise, you will NOT be contacting him again.

This shifts the entire burden to him and frees you to focus on you and your mother. It also establishes a non contact baseline so that he has no basis to complain to APS.

Everyone thank you, it puts my mind at ease. I was thinking he would say I wouldn't let him come see her but Tothills advice to save the texts should prove he told me to stop communicating with him. I'm definitely going to do that with all the siblings. Better prepared then sorry. Talkey, I'm thinking the same thing, but I also think if it was me I would expect to be kept updated if he was solely responsible for her. He is so not me though! Hugemom, I'm constantly protecting myself, in fear of legal action after moms gone. It just seems anyone can sue anyone these days & I would be so much angrier than they've already made me. When this journey is over I don't want them to continue the suffering via the courts. Thank you Staaarrr, it puts my mind at ease to know it's not me it's them. Thanks everyone I'm going to put this in the don't worry pile & keep on moving on. Moms birthday was yesterday so I'll sit & show her pictures of the ones that did come--since I paid for the meals! Whatever, she was happy at least.

As to "it just seems anyone can sue anyone..." Threat of suit has been used for years to intimidate people. The reality is that GOOD attorneys don't waste their time with frivolous suits. The ones who take groundless suits aren't always good attorneys, or they're flamboyant ones who don't have good standing in the legal community. Or they're lousy attorneys and bottom feed b/c of that.

And remember that groundless cases are often taken on a contingency basis....no cause of action, no recovery, nothing for the attorney except the payments advanced for the client.

Attorneys are businessmen and look for good end results, as do good businessmen.

And years ago, at least in Michigan, court rules were changed to address frivolous lawsuits. Someone sued frivolously (such as you) on a groundless basis, can countersue and ask not only for legal fees but compensation as well.

If I remember correctly (and it's been more than a few decades since I've done any litigation work), local court rules also were incorporating penalities against plaintiffs who brought frivolous lawsuits.

So, there's not always a lot of "teeth" in threats to sue.

One comment....please follow up any texted updates with a written letter. Many courts do not recognize electronic communications as solid evidence that information was conveyed. You simply cannot prove for sure who was on either side of that text message. So my advice (BTW - I've worked in law for 20+ years)...is with ANY important updates or decisions made for your mother (I mean decisions like moving her to a home, etc.) put it in WRITING using pen & paper...send it certified with return receipt requested (to prove Bro got it) and keep a copy for yourself in a file. This might prove out to be just an annoyance, but if your brother does bring a lawsuit - frivolous or not - these solid communications can save your butt.

Good advice, P. Your post reminded me when electronic communications between law firms and with their clients was a major issue in legal circles. I haven't kept up on this as you have, but it's a very good reminder since anyone can claim not to have received an e-mail or text.