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My 90 year old mother moved in with me last fall. She was ambulatory and able to bathe, dress and feed herself at that point. She has progressively become more dependent and less able. Now she doesn't want to get out of bed. I work outside the home and do NOT see myself taking on this level of care. Is it time for a nursing home?

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Home health care is based on medical necessity, regardless of who she lives with. Please try consulting an elder care attorney if you plan on applying for Medicaid in order to cover home health care. Medicare will pay for some very limited home care, but it is short and not many hours. If you are applying for Medicaid, the elder care attorney can draw up a rental agreement so that your mother is paying for her room and board at your home. If it is not an option to have home care due to the level of need and it is time for a nursing home, the nursing home will apply for Medicaid on your behalf.
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SurgTec, as you're exploring the home care option, be sure to make a distinction between home health care and non health care. She could get home health care if prescribed by a physician, and it would be paid for by Medicare. However, non health care is not covered and is out of pocket care.

As I'm navigating the home care options, I'm finding that the private duty firms which often liberally use the term "home care" don't distinguish until you get into negotiations that their staff aren't qualified to provide home health care. That's not their function.
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Yes, your mother can qualify for various benefits even if she lives with you.

Does she own assets? Have a monthly income? It sounds like she cannot be left alone all day and that you need to work. Some other arrangements must be made. Have a needs assessment done for her (call your Area Agency on Aging OR your country's Human Services department). Once you have an assessment you can look into how best to meet her needs.
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SurgTec, does your Mother have any funds that she can use for caregivers to come into the house to help her? You might give that a try if Mom is acceptable to the idea... don't be surprised if she refuses, as that is very common.

If Mom cannot afford caregivers, then that tells me that moving into Assisted Living, which is usually self-pay may not be an option. If Mom can budget the monthly rent, that would be great.

Otherwise see if Mom can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. That way she can move into a nursing home and Medicaid will pay for the whole thing. Each State is different regarding their programs, so check to see if by change there is a home health care program.
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