My mom is 81 and has ovarian cancer and mild dementia. I am a retired school teacher who also took long-term teaching positions in order to supplement my retirement pension. My supplemental net income was $3000.00 a month. When it became apparent to my 2 siblings and me that mom could no longer live alone, we decided to look for an assisted living facility for her. The price ranges we looked at were between $4,500.00 and $5,000.00 a month and we eventually decided on one that was $5,000.00/month. When it got close to the time for her to move, she made it clear that she did not want to go to an assisted living facility. I decided to give up my job and supplemental income so that she could move in with my husband and me. My mom pays me $3,000.00 a month to make up for the salary that I gave up when I quit my job in order to stay home and care for her. She pays for no utilities or groceries, etc., and yes, she has the money to pay me.
I sometimes feel guilty for taking this money, but at other times feel that it is only fair because that is the amount I gave up plus it is still well below the amount she would have paid the assisted living facility. Is this right and fair? Oh, and my siblings do nothing as far as taking her to chemo (once a week, 60 miles away), various doctors appointments, etc. They have also never offered to give us a "break" by taking mom to their homes for a weekend or even a day. I would also like to add that my husband and I also gave up our privacy and free time. I guess I would just like others' opinions on this because I do feel guilty about it at times, and it causes me much stress.