Follow
Share

My dying mother has guardianship over my demented father and living with my sister in another state for over 19 months. She has been battling a brain tumor that is still growing and is told to get her things taking care of. She wants to appoint my sister that is caring for her next Guardian. But I live with my father and my family and we are taking care of him. Can she just pass over the guardianship like that. Or does it have to go to court and be appointed again in front of the judge. I believe since neither one of my two sisters want to care for my father that the court would be on my favor. But my sister says she want to do what mom wants. So she will take care of it and send me some money to care for my father. When I am the one who did all the work to get him pre approved for VA benefits and I take him to all his appointments and so on. It's sad that non of my sisters want to help my father. But help my mother while she is guardian. I put it all in God's hands. I pray all goes well. I have no regrets for what I have done. But I hope this goes to court so a judge can decide not my ill mother.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Jennican, I'm a bit puzzled trying to understand your parents' marital history - are they still married? Was your mother looking after your father and then placed him in ALF because he became too ill, or she did?

But setting what's only my curiosity aside, and not to be brutal about it, the court supervising your father's care will not be overly concerned with your mother's wishes if they contradict what the court considers to be in your father's best interests. And especially they won't if she has passed away.

But your mother might have very sound reasons for not wanting your father to live with you, you know. I'm sorry to gather, if this is correct, that there's some problem between the two of you? All the same, you may not be right to assume that her sole motivation is jealousy. She may genuinely believe, and she may be correct, that your father's continuing to live with you permanently is not a good plan for either of you, or for your family. How long have you been looking after him?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Pam thank you for your answer. But my father is living with me in my home with my family. He does not like living in ALF or memory care facilities and has been in Circles of Care a few times already. The doctor for COC almost sent him to the State hospital if I didn't intervene and say he will live with me from now on since none else was coming to his rescue. I wanted him to live with us a few ALF's back but my mother didn't want him to live with me. I think my mother is very jealous of my relationship with my father. The brain tumor isn't helping.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

She does not pass Guardianship like that. It goes back to court for the Judge to decide. The judge will not name her, because she lives out of state. He may not name you either, since your father is providing you and your family with a home. Plan on having someone else as the Guardian.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Do you know what your mother's reasoning is? Could it be, for example, that they're largely administrative - she's living with your sister, your sister is right there to explain and countersign any forms, and it's just easier at a time when she doesn't have much energy?

I suppose quite a lot depends on how well you get on with your sister. If you're usually on good terms, keep talking and see if you can't sort out a plan. I don't know the process - others will, I'm sure they'll be along in a moment - but I can't imagine that your mother can transfer guardian without its at least being referred back to the court that originally approved her guardianship, if only for rubber-stamping? So there will be an opportunity to suggest an alternative. Obviously the less combative things get, the better for all of you. I'm so sorry you're all going through this.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.