She lives with me and my 12 year old daughter. My brother and I are power of attorney. She is in the mild stages and really wants to help but I don't want to get into any trouble.

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If you are going on vacation with your mother and your mother would not be able to go without you, then it is in your mother's best interests to pay for your share of the vacation - because otherwise she doesn't get to go. So it would be absolutely fine, no problem.

If you are taking a well earned break, though, and your mother is merely offering her generous help, you have more of a difficulty. At the mild stages of dementia your mother may well still have sufficient mental capacity to know what a gift is and want to make one to you; and it is a pity to deny her the pleasure of helping her child when she wants to, particularly if she is in the habit of making large cash gifts to you and your brother and can easily afford it.

But if you want to be on the safe side, don't do it. Tell her she's lovely, but it'll be fine - and take a cheaper vacation..? I really hope you do get a good break anyway.
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What are you worried about? How Medicaid would interpret this? How other family members will react?

Is your mother paying you for room and board? For care? That is very legitimate, and if she is not I suggest you start that practice, with a written agreement.

This vacation you are considering ... would she be going with you? Since persons with dementia can't really vacation alone, she would need someone to accompany her. Seems very legitimate to me to pay that someone's way.

Or does she want to give you a gift of a vacation for yourself? That might be a little more "iffy" -- depending on what your main concern about this is.

Can you explain the situation a little more?
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